Barriers to Soul Progress: #1- Creeping Condemnation (Criticism) | EP 023

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:00

Hi, I'm back. We think being critical of ourselves and others is fine. Unexpected. Everyone does it. Parents do it. Brothers and sisters do and relatives do it partner doesn't. And social gatherings were usually more critical of each other. It happens. So it's it's if we see it in the news, and we see it socially, we see it all around us. We see how this critical illness is something that we think is just a natural or a part of us. It's like it moves with the water. You know, water we drink is like we need water to drink. Like we need criticism to be alive and well. Well, that's not true. But we have it's so ingrained within us this criticism that I want to talk more about it. And I wanted to give a different perspective, from a soul evolution perspective, about criticism. And usually with criticism, there is some level of judgment. And there is some level of condemnation, condemning ourselves condemning other individuals judging ourselves judging other individuals being critical of what a person says or does. And we're, we're doing it towards ourself as well. So all that is kind of wrapped up together when I'm talking about criticism, condemnation, judgment, they're all together, they all work together, that are and everything. It's just a part of who we are, that we naturally do. And as I was saying earlier, but I don't think is helpful. I don't think it's helpful to call ourselves stupid or dumb, in terms of that critical illness or the condemning of ourselves, because it attacks it attacks. So much, Santoli comms onto us these negative emotions of this criticism, kind of nation judgment of areas, these two frustrations, and anxieties and anger, and fear that I think that criticism, condemnation of ourselves and others can be painful. And we've learned how to numb ourselves from the pain and just think, well, it'll make me a better person. And the thing that I believe that it only pushes us to believe that we are not measuring up, that somehow we need to be better and better and better. That somehow there is this perfect standard of how we should be and how we should act and what how we should learn and the quickness by which we should learn something that we place upon ourselves, and then replace upon others. And I don't think that's very helpful, or wise, or true to what our soul evolution is needing. It does push us in the eagle world, to wanting to be right, wanting to be first. And that is not the world of the song. Criticism also moves us into being impatient. And that's the broth of the ego, the impatient with ourselves, impatient with other individuals and tolerant of their slowness, or the difficulties in communicating or think they need to do this or they need to do that. We are so filled with naturally being evil, quote unquote, naturally, being able to tell person how they need to do something better, or how they need to act in a different way. But underneath neath that criticism, condemnation, Jasmine, is this emotional element of being very harmful, not only to others, but to ourselves, because it impacts our self esteem. And it impacts our way we feel about ourselves. And whether we are feeling as if we're centered, and what our sole needs are, or are we continue perpetually moving in the stream of what our ego thinks we need to do, and be an act, that a squat criticism, condemnation and judgment is in the domain of the ego. And the ego will always tell you what you need to do, and how you need to do it. And when we see others are able to do what we believe that is easy for us to do. But it's more challenging for them to do we perpetuate this ego, of knowing, best thinking best, acting best of this superior inferior type of energy. I know best, you don't know as much. That's not again, the qualities of the soul, and what the soul needs. So we thinking that we're helping people to be better, and better and better. But we're not. I know that you may think that is yes, we are. Yes, we are. Because I know I can get better. And I have gotten better by putting a lot of pressure on myself to do better. But could we be able to still do better without the criticism? And I want you to think about this, because I'm going to tell you another way of looking and thinking about this, and a few minutes. Criticism and desire for excellence may be a false excellence. Yes, it may be a false excellence. It's like a false gold, Gol D empty. It clamors and sparkles. But it's not the real McCoy. It's not the real gold. Because where there's criticism, condemnation and judgment, the real gold, glory of gloves divinity within us would have none of that. That's why it's a false goal. I see criticism as a pervasive aspect or quality in our society, and in our culture, and our world. And I call it creeping condemnation, this critical illness, judging, creeping condemnation is like the creeping is like a vine, a noxious fine, that continues to grow and be fueled by condemnation. And condemnation. As you look at the word, the first part of condemn, we think about censure, we think about blame, think about disappointment or disapproval of what a person situation or circumstance we find ourselves that is doing. And then so we look at condemn, and then we think about nation, which is defined as, as a large body of people, one or more nationalities, based upon their languages and history, and based upon their ethnicity. So it can be based upon many different qualities, but they may have language in common and they may have past history in common, and the culture and the society, or things that are making up this nation. So we have this nation that you belong to wherever you may be across the planet, that I suspect. Wherever you are, there is creeping condemnation and needing to ask yourself, How often do I criticize, condemn, or judge others? If you were to take one day and just observe yourself, at home, at work in your relationships? And look how often you are saying something that is judgmental, that is negative, that is condemning? You might surprise yourself? One of my questions is, or another question. Have you ever thought about not allowing this creeping condemnation to Continue. It's like you want to pull out the roots of this noxious vine, like pull it up at the root.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:10:09

Because it's wrapping itself around your soul, self, your soul essence, who this thing the soul is a substance of your life. The rational person may say, Well, I think being critical was fine. But this isn't on our minds way of thinking. It will click to say, the creeping condemnation is fine. It's making me look at things that I may not look at otherwise. But that's misbelief. Condemning other people, or condemning yourself, is not helpful in the long run. It is actually creating, I believe, more damage than good. Because it's been so conditioned into, not just you into many of us. And if not all of us to look at situations and automatically critique them. automatically create a situation in which people are feeling as if they're being judged. And some people will tell you I feel like I'm being judged by you. And that criticism, condemnation and judgment creates discomfort, it creates pain. It creates feeling anxious, sad, and angry with ourselves and with others. And most people do not like being condemned. They don't like being judged. Most people do not like it. But we have come so accustomed to it, that we try to figure out ways to tolerate it. But getting back to this point about this, not just mine of condemnation, criticism and judgment is not only wraps itself around our gold, our soul fabric, for the glory of love's divinity, because we're there's condemnation, how can there be love it also subtly forts or hinders our soul evolution, in even stopping our soul from growing, because the soul flourishes in an environment where there is harmony, there is learning from lessons, there is kindness, there are seeing the good in people in the circumstances that we may find ourselves in others in and the situations that we're traveling through. And when those experiences are grounded in realism and pragmatism, and keeping the focus on one's higher source, that you can see how this experience that we're experiencing and going through is alignment with our soul growth. And the quality that we're trying to dump is not being critical or condemning, or judging of ourselves. But instead, the quality is one of discernment, to discern it, being able to know that we can begin from a Christian value perspective and a soul in the soul contacts to receive in the absence of judgment, with a view to them through reflection, and pausing and asking quality actions, that we are really obtaining more of a spiritual guidance and understanding about what the situation is trying to be garnered, how we can continue to grow, how we can continue to advance that we're not here to do things right 24/7 But instead, we're here to be able to look at the experience, know that may be some pain points that we may go through, but it's all helping us to refine our perspective of living, and how we want our soul to continue to evolve and grow through the experiences that we find ourselves in. When we look at discern that it is really from a different lens is the former soul lens of saying okay, how At work, or at home, or when at a relationship, what is it trying to be learned from this experience, and how to I now make the corrections that need to be made, while maintaining my composure? Maintaining a point of peace and harmony, especially in situations that seem unjust or not right, that have occurred, that we pray, part of discernment is this kind of intersection between faithful living, listening to God's direction. And action. What we need to add in that action is coming from a point of love of what we need to see the best in this person in this situation. Wisdom, why is the minion in the situation of how we need to maybe develop some skills or talents or qualities are used qualities and talents that we already have, and apply it into the situation that we find ourselves in. And then also follow through that we're willing to follow through in the situation in order to make that correction, or change the behavior or develop the skill, or to be able to listen to what another person has to share with us, so that we can continue to grow. So if we see things through the lens of growth and development, and see it as an opportunity to expand our sole awareness, and not as an attack on us when a person says something to us, because we were swimming as fishes in a sea of a lot of water here of the CCJ, which is criticism, condemnation and judgment. So we have to realize there's going to be people that are just going to naturally do that. But it doesn't mean that we have to partake doesn't mean that we have to kind of throw back that criticism of that condemnation to the other person. Because the quality that we're working from, which helps you to get out of the trap, that criticism carnation and Jasmine puts the soul in it's like a straitjacket. We rarely say I'm not willing to put my soul in a straitjacket. I'm more willing to use the quality and the lens of discernment. Discernment helps to support you and your daily living. And walking a spiritual path is connecting you to your inner wisdom. Because you're willing to be prayerful, you're willing to have still moments, you're willing to be guided, have that inner guidance, and wait and listen. And be aware of the fact that everything that comes my way doesn't mean I have to act on it immediately. Sometimes we need to take time away and reflect and make a determination of what we want to do, or how we want to show up and be that as we are able to work on our thoughts, our feelings, our behaviors, and to through discernment, and to be the best that we can be in that moment. And our best can change on a daily or weekly or monthly or yearly basis. But that's the evolution of the soul. We're always growing. We're always advancing, if we're willing to ask, we're spiritual discernment. So spiritual discernment is that you see that this person has not told you the truth. Are you gonna get critical of them? Are you going to just acknowledge the fact that you are aware of it? And you ask your inner self? What do I need to do here? How am I speak in a manner that honors you? My highest source? My I Am Presence in this situation? How can I say things in which the person is aware that I'm very serious, but it doesn't mean that I have to rant, rave, scream and stomp my feet. Now in this situation to make sure the person knows I mean business. And what we're talking about is moving away from this critical illness. This condemning this judging so quickly of others, and move into first observing what situations or circumstances this is happening.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:19:55

And am I able to catch myself when I know this does doesn't feel right is not right. But even though I may be used to doing it, I know it's not right, my inner self tells me and therefore stop and start to reflect on what might be the better choice or choices that we make on a daily basis either liberates our soul growth and advancement, of dampens, stops, hinders our soul growth and advancement. And what I would suggest that you do is take a minute, and look up spiritual discernment on the web, the internet, and then take that definition or that thought, or that phrase, or whatever it may be, write it down, or a three by five card. And be aware, this is what you're working towards spiritual discernment. And then be able to start looking how your thoughts, feelings, words, indeed, are aligning with the spiritual discernment, or more on the path of criticism, condemnation, and judgment. That is not in the uplifting spiral of what your soul needs to evolve and grow. You're looking at the ocean between discernment and criticism, condemnation, and judgment, the discernment, so you may want to even look those birds up themselves, I just look at criticism. Because this is kind of a episode on creeping criticism, creeping and what I mean by creeping that it creeps more and more and more like a vine into our life, that it becomes so natural, that we do so readily, but really not realizing that he entraps our soul. It hampers our soul from soul growth, where there is criticism, or any level of condemnation or any level adjustment, there you using negative emotions attached. And what we're trying to do is start to discern, when we use in the Faculty of discernment. And when we're using this other aspect of the ego, of creeping criticism, heaping into our life into our thoughts into our feelings into our birds into our DS into the things that we're doing in our daily basis. And can we catch ourselves when we know what's happening? And can we make a pivot turn and say no to that, and yes to discernment, and with discernment comes a quietness, a quick reflection of what I need to do in the situation, maybe a prayer that you're doing, before you speak or say anything, you ask the Lord, to place in your, your mind, your high, what is the best thing, the helpful thing to be able to say in this situation? And then proceed to say, and if you're too upset, and you can't do that, then is better to say to the person is, I'm too upset right now. Can we get back to this. And once I kind of reflect, and have some my own time, to be able to think about what's just happened here, can we get back together on Monday, or on Tuesday, on Friday, on Sunday, or whatever day, you know, under particular time, so as to have the further conversation about it, you know, in person, or by phone, or by zoom, or other means that you try to close that loop to say that you will be back with that person. But usually in relationships, if you're taking too long, that's not healthy to the relationship, you should be able to think and reflect on things and think about that discernment. And what needs to be said, and from a soul perspective, and take, you know, half day or a full day to do that. But it should not be a long time. Coming back to that particular relationship or partner that you you're involved with. Because it can also move in to the person feeling as if you're holding out, that is your way of getting back at them. If that's not what your intent is either. None of that, that that still goes on along those lines of criticism, condemnation, judgment, that is negative, that is not helpful, that the soul wants to do things that are uplifting, our engaging, that are helpful in learning the lessons that need to be learned, as I said before, so think about this, what I just asked you to do, and immediately began to start observe yourself and start to look at what you notice the different of betraying discernment and creeping criticism, and its cousins. judgment and condemnation. Bye for now. Take care.