Real Life Adventures in Living – You Got It All and It Still Goes Wrong. Why? What Happened? - Part I with Guest Scott Feld | EP 032

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering Life's Adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are Mastering Life's Adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:00

Hi, I'm back here with a special guest, and I'm gonna be talking about is Real Life Adventures focused with Scott Feld talking about his experiences and to capsulate those experiences from the lens of soul development, Soul evolution, and what our experiences whether they're good, bad, or indifferent, are all trying to teach us something, or allowing us to learn more about ourselves in an intentional way, and sometimes unintentional ways. So we're talking in this particular podcast, he got it all. And it still goes wrong, why? And what happened? And that's a great subject. I would like Scott to share more about that. And also a little bit about his background and who he is, and then we'll take it from there.

Scott Feld: 00:01:50

All right. Well, thank you, Dr. Judith. That's so good to be here with you. And I do think it's an amazing topic. We talked about it a little bit before, first of all, introduce myself, and I'll get to that part. So again, my name is Scott belt, I'm in San Diego, California, certified life coach, I'm specifically, I really work with kids kind of in the tween age group nine to 12, although I've had different clients, different ages as well, I chose that age group, because that's where I really saw for myself for one where things started spiraling a little bit downhill. And because I wasn't taught some of these inner powers that I have that I now teach others, that would be the cause of the downhill spiral. And so I thought the best service I could do would be sort of the vitamin versus the medicine. And I really found that the teenagers who are struggling, they're the ones who like you kind of go and what do we do, they need, like, you know, in Doctor terms, they need medicine, they need surgery, you're trying to fix a problem that's already occurred. But I think I can provide it and I've had some great results from it is the before that happens. That's like empower. Let's like give you those vitamins, let's, let's have it so that when those obstacles and those situations come up, you're the one that can step up and blast the room, not the one who's taken down, like, like so many are and like I was. So that's, that's what I do. And that's who I work with. In addition to that, I have my own almost seven year old son. And I wanted to make sure that actually it had gotten grained earlier, the way that I coach and through my power quests and power parties, they're too advanced for like a 567 year olds, we really start around nine. But the ideas are not too advanced. And it's never too early to ingrain like who you are to start really looking at the inner self. Right.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:03:52

I was one make a comment about that, because you a key aspect is that we're never too young, because the innate quality of the soul we're looking at for our seekers. When you're looking at soul evolution, the soul is always evolving and growing. And we don't know necessarily the age of that soul. Even though it may be in a seven year old body. It may be zillions of years old, right? To learn certain experiences with certain parents to gain a greater understanding about themselves that they wouldn't gain otherwise.

Scott Feld: 00:04:28

Yeah, I really agree. And you know, from that perspective, it's like, my own son arrived with me to get what he needed to get, but also to give to me because I learned so much from him about myself, right, like I learned from him, what a jerk I can be. I learned from him, where I can be impatient, and where I can grow, and I can be a better human. And he's here for those reasons while I'm here to show him and teach him the things that he gets from me. So you know, my, my method of getting that information not only to my son, but to kids his age all around was to write a book. And so I needed to write like a fun animated book that show kids their inner superpowers. The one I wrote is about imagination. It's called DAX to the max. My son's name is Dax, right. So he's animated in a book. Now, this is him, right? And we put it out there. And I've gone out and done some great speaking engagements, some interactive readings, I've added some different elements to it to make it more fun where we do it. And then it got picked up by a production company. And now it's a TV show and development. So that's a great media to get across to lots of lots of kids. So you can look at it from like that sort of God spiritual thing, like DAX came to me kind of late in life. I'm 53. And he's almost seven, right? So when I was 46, he came to me at the right time, we know that, right. And then he came to me at a time where we can create something together. 10 years ago, although I was coaching, I wasn't writing a book. I wasn't, I was actually coaching more adults. At that time, some kids but more of adults, I transition, my experience and expertise is more in the kid teenage range. So I wanted to really go serve that community fell into the other. So anyway, perfect timing for decks to arrive for him to come. And for us to go kind of on this journey together, which we love, and we just love it. And he gets to like sign books, he got really good with his signature, he does the hidden signature now where you have to find where he hid, you know, signed it, the book. And we just know, all of this is ingrained in him this thing where he doesn't have to be at the effect of life like, like he, we can create stuff and make stuff happen. He see in that right. Like we wrote a book, we create it, we put it out into the world. And he knows that. And I think that's really beautiful and really important. So that's what I'm now doing through a bunch of different ways. The power quest, the power party's the book, the TV show coming soon. God willing, and and that's, you know, that's about me.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:07:19

It's wonderful. And you know, and some of the thoughts that came to my mind when you're talking about your relationship and your son, which I think is very, very powerful. And I think that children are born to us in a certain time, that allows us to have a mutual mission together. And just because they're young, doesn't mean they're not old souls.

Scott Feld: 00:07:38

Yeah, like you said, yeah, for sure.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:07:42

That are having a, you know, a particular focus. And you're helping him evolve and grow as you're evolving and growing, because you said it so well. I'm learning from him. He's learning to me. Yeah. And that's what the whole interaction and being in this world is about that we're learning for many different experiences coming into our lives and learn certain things. And when we're learning and attune to them, we can be more intentional, and then we can accelerate our evolutionary growth through that process. Yeah. That you had said a point in time to when you were young, you had certain experiences that evolved you to the current experience you're having now of doing these interactive types of parties with the children. So tell me a little bit about your experience. And, you know, from moving as a young child into the current, you don't have to do it all, but just some come flavors to what's allowed you to be doing what you're doing currently.

Scott Feld: 00:08:39

Okay, yeah, for sure. Well, I've always had sort of a strange obsession with how the mind works. How, you know, some people are successful, some people struggle. I always was told and thought it has to do with like, your circumstances, the obstacles, sometimes you just, you were just dealt bad cards, I was told, and I was like, Well, yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Like, you know, and then you start hearing stories about people who have overcome such amazing, you know, such crazy obstacles. So what's the difference? Right, that's what I wanted to know. And then when you have a professional athlete, or a musician, or someone who's reached a high level in whatever they do, what was it? Like, what had them be that person? Because we always, we always see the result. I always saw the result. Oh, you know, when I was watching basketball, like sports, so sometimes I use a sports analogy. And, you know, everybody seems to know Michael Jordan. Right. And you know, all we did is watch Michael Jordan be Michael Jordan. But none of us saw Michael Jordan get cut from the high school basketball team. None of us saw him earlier on. None of us saw the struggles. None of us saw what he did when he faced those struggles. Right? He's just one example. Because we're only seeing the results, where the kids when I work with the tweens, I might use like a Taylor Swift, you know, Taylor Swift being this huge mega pop star. And you look at her and you know, girls want to be her, like, you know, how did you know? But what they don't necessarily want is give up all of their weekends to Song write with a bunch of like 50 or 60 year old men who are professional songwriters, so that she could learn to become a good songwriter while she did her guitar lessons while she was turned down by record companies and had to deal with that. They don't want that. They want the result. And that's me too. Right? So we're talking about me as well. I just saw the results that oh, I want that. Now, when we talk about the topic, see, I was I wasn't raised in a you know, wealthy family, but upper middle class, right? We weren't doing such crazy things. But we went to Hawaii every Christmas. You know, maybe maybe we were right. We had, you know, a fairly big house, we have a swimming pool, we have the place. My dad worked in real estate, my mom took us to my sister and I to our, you know, swimming, I was a swimmer. She did like ice skating and some other things. Pretty great. Right? It's just, it just sounds pretty great. It's like, wow, well, you have every opportunity you had everything? Well, what you find out is that the physical things, the things that you're given, and given and given. Even if it's just opportunities, it means that you haven't gone through the things that build the character of you, and build the strength in you to get those things, which you can take into the next bigger thing. And the next bigger thing. So here you are, if you're like me, you're given these things. And when I was kind of thinking about this interview we're going to do today I was thinking that when I wanted, like 12 years old, well, all I had to do was see some band, some dude was playing guitar, he looked cool. Hey, Mom, Dad, I'm gonna play guitar. Next thing you know, I had a guitar kind of handed to me, right? That was good. That sounded good to my parents. Okay, he wants to play guitar. Let's, which is cool. My parents were awesome, right like that. However, what would I have learned? What kind of now I know, right? This is always looking backwards. Because there's no way I knew that they knew what I'm about to say then. And it's why I teach it and show kids plant the seeds now. So anyway, what would it have been like if I actually saw somebody play guitar, but then knew that to get that guitar and to get lessons, it was going to take something from me, it was not going to be handed to me. So I had to really consider that because I was gonna have to put in some effort, whether it be getting really resourceful, you know, or going out and making money in some way? What if that was the case, and then it really meant something to me. And then because it really meant something to me, I put more effort into it. When I actually got the guitar and I got the lessons, I was more committed to it. Because when I got mine, I was like, three months later, I kind of just want to be that rock star guy. I don't really want to do this, like learning thing. Right? Because it wasn't that valid to me. But had it been this way? Right, then I would have developed it, I would have gone through the process. And who knows you that you and I might not be talking because I might be on a stage somewhere playing rock music? I don't know. Probably not. Right. But but the point being told is that those of us, and there's so many, and I have to work on this with my own kid, because again, very similar, not wealthy, but you know, middle upper middle class, you know, we don't, he gets stuck when he wants it. But because I now know, the processes and the choices. I now even though could give to him. We talk about developing a skill or a strength and doing it together a different way. Let's work for that. Let's become resource. Let's see how you can get that without me just giving it to you so that you not only get the thing in the end, but you get all these towers, you build up all these strings that are going to carry you because now we go okay. I've given the guitar lessons and the guitar thing and when I quit, there's not any consequences really. Right. I could deal with the oh my gosh, Scott, I thought you know, you were wanting to play guitar. Well, that's expensive, blah, blah, blah. Just kind of went in one ear out the other because we didn't act like it was expensive. We act like it was sort of just something I did wrong.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:14:46

Yeah. You know, what you're bringing up again, through this whole aspect of soul evolution is that actually the soul does want to have discipline. It does want to have that you as parents are able to give discipline to the child because that discipline actually also helps his soul to evolve and to grow, and also needs guidance to know how to develop him. But you're talking about that scale strength of those superpowers? Well, it actually helps a soul to have superpowers as well, because it starts to learn the aspect of something I just finished doing in my last podcast on self mastery in the in the power of self mastery. And along with that, the power of discernment. And so that the more that we're having discernment as a soul, in which all seekers are learning how to do between what is the left way, or the right way to go, and the things that I do, and parents can be able to do that so nicely to help to garner that for the child and set that those chain tracks so to speak, and moving them in the right direction. So one of the things you were saying is, is that you had it all, but you may not have had all the discipline, because it just looked like this is what I wanted. And you could skip over the discipline points to get to what you want. But you realize, I didn't put the effort in.

Scott Feld: 00:16:06

Yeah, I didn't have to really what what we're talking about here is my parents who gave this is what they knew to do as parents because they didn't get the instruction manual with me and my sister, right? I didn't get one either. So they went by what they got, right, their parents how their parents were on, you know, tradition of different past years of parenting, right, as it kind of went through the different. Yeah. And so here we are, like, my parents are in this position where like they're giving, they're giving, and they think that's great. That's how that's what you do for your kids. And they're not the only ones, right? I see parents all the time. Yesterday, I'm teaching a class to a bunch of middle schoolers and one girl. It's just it was just automatic for us. She goes, I would just have my parents buy it. That was her answer. I were I don't remember exactly what we were talking about. But we were talking about following goals, and creating with your imagination, your dreams. And she goes, why wouldn't I just tell my parents buy it? Right? This is what we're like. And we have the conversation. I said, because when your parents buy it, this is what you're missing. And she got pretty like, like, focused on that. Like she actually saw like, oh, wow, I can see how I because at that age, you can go, I can see how I'm missing that, like that is missing. For me. I I don't feel like I can accomplish stuff on my own. Oh, geez. Like, that's not good. Let me let me stop that. That's a seed planted. So you know, and as you talk about the soul, which I'm very spiritual, I like to think that I'm very spiritual. I don't know what that means. But I like to think that I converse with God, and I am one with God, and God's one with me. And, and I believe that in these physical bodies that were brought out into that, we were given these amazing faculties as humans, these are scientific faculties of the mind. And they're under us. Sometimes they're unknown. I can tell you that when I was a kid, when I was a teenager, if you had said to me, named the faculties of the mind, I could not name one never taught to me, if you asked me to name the five senses, I could do that. Right. But here we have these inner powers. I teach it like an iceberg. Right? On that you can see the hair color and the face and the skin color. And you can see the outer self, which is because that's seen, especially in teenagers, but adults too. This is where most of the attention goes on the surface, on the surface. And then similarly on the surface as we have our surface senses that allow us to navigate our world. Those are our five senses. First, it's like this outer self. Next, it's like the five senses. And then that's like where the water hits. And we don't look below. Correct. That's, that's who we are. But then once we start looking below, and we go, oh, wait a minute, we have this thing called imagination. Oh, wait, we have this thing called willpower. We have this thing called reasoning. We have this thing called perception. Now, let's show you how to use those. Now what kind of human are you going to be? Right? How are you going to show up in this world in your human form? And that that's the growing spirit. That's the grow. That's why we're here. It said and I agree. The only reason we're here is to grow, to learn what else What other reason would there be everything else is just for that purpose? But if we don't use those faculties, we don't use our mind generation don't use our perception, we don't use our reasoning, we don't use our willpower, then we're limiting our growth, I'm not going to say we're not growing, but I'm saying we're limiting our growth.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:20:13

Right. And, and that's very, very true. I love the analogy about, you know, the surface. And then there's so much more beneath the surface that we're not tapping into. And that we need to be able to, in order to expand our growth be if on the physical level, on the emotional level, on the spiritual level on the mental level, that we need to be able to do that. And it's so much aligns, which I've talked with seekers about, about these superpowers that we do have within ourselves that you're aligning to the qualities of imagination and wealth and willpower and perception. But there's also the superpower of love, and how we go about loving, there's also the superpower of mastery, which I talk a little bit about, and how if we can do that at a soul level, it allows us to accelerate, there's also harmony. So there's certain in or types of growth that we can be able to do, and vision and having that vision to see the greater good and a situation as opposed to everything being so negative all the time, which has that quality of imagination that you're talking about. No, I think it really ties very nicely into some of the things that you're talking about that I am and we'll be talking more about with seekers in this particular podcast and nationalist adventures.

Scott Feld: 00:21:29

Yeah, incredible. Yeah, please. Me, okay. I was just, I was just thinking of another thing along the same lines that I teach is, you know, it's what you were just saying, it's kind of like, finding yourself like your unique self, your unique purpose. I mean, this is looking deep into, what is it that really fulfills you? And when we think about that, below the surface, because it's very easy to go, oh, what fulfills me? Right? And of course, you know, the teenagers you go, so what do you want? They go? Money, money. And also,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:22:13

PlayStation,

Scott Feld: 00:22:14

PlayStation? Yeah. Right? And I'll surprise No, I'll go. You don't want money? And then I'll tell him. Nobody wants money. And if they said PlayStation view, the same thing. You don't want a PlayStation? Nobody wants PlayStation? No, no, no, no, no, you want what it provides? You want the thing behind them? Look, if I gave you a million gazillion dollars, but you couldn't do anything with it, except it was a bunch of paper, you still want it? No, no, no, it's the money is your energy. Money is that energy that we've decided to use in order for us to get things in this physical world? But why do we get things like why would you want a PlayStation? why would why would you want you know that in my neighborhood, it's like the latest ebike all the teen interest rate bikes around? Well, the ebike gives you freedom gives you a little bit of feeling of power, like you have a little bit of self control. That's what that's what the ebike does. It also takes you to places where you can connect with people in whatever way. That's what the ebike provides. And the money that provides the ebike which provides that, and I'll take these kids through, you know what I call The Power Formula. And the questions in the power formula aren't new, but the way I present them are very kid friendly. Not too young, not too old. This is my specialty. Worked with this age for a long time. I know how to present it to them. So they get it. But they don't get overwhelmed by it. And it becomes fun. That's why I use my my power bag here. And my power bag has just a little gliders in it. This is how we get the pilot and auto pilot flying to Hawaii together. Because you know, Dr. Judith, if the autopilot says we're not going to Hawaii, it's too scary. We're probably not getting off the ground. No matter how much we say we really want this thing we really want to go to Hawaii. We're not going not going to let us go. We're going to turn around and go back. And then we use the kinetic stand to talk about neural pathways.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:24:34

Just Scott Now since this is not visual is auditory that he should be showing the different tools that they work with in order to be able to help their children understand some of the concepts that he's presenting to them.

Scott Feld: 00:24:49

Thank you, Dr. Jones. I forgot you and I can see each other and this is a podcast. Thank you so much. What I was holding up was kinetic Sam because one of the things we love to talk about is our new We're all pathways that I can promise you, if you get put a bunch of nine 910 1112 year olds in front of me and I started talking neural pathways I lost, they fell asleep, right? So still, yeah, totally. So we give them some kinetic sand to draw in and talk to them about how they dig trails. And the deeper you dig a trail, the more you go to it. And if that trail looks like I can't, and it's too hard, and I'm not good enough. And that's the one you keep saying to yourself, then every time something comes up, that's the trail, you're gonna go walk that bury that trail, and let's go dig a trail that says I can, I will, I'm strong enough, I'm good enough, I'm gonna go for it. And then every time something new comes up, that's your new trail that you go to and don't use, see, you're in control, you can dig either trail that you want and make it deeper, stronger. It just takes an effort. Right? And then you become the cause. Not the effect. Not everything's just happening to you. You're making things happen. And that's a very new concept. I didn't know that. Did you know that? I didn't know that.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:26:10

Yeah, well, he actually hits a lot of law right along the lines of what the soul is looking for. Because the soul is actually looking for being not only in the world of effect, which you know, are things of the products and what's ever been given to you. But it wants to be a co creator with a source. And that co creation it with that source called a god the I Am Presence, Lord, it wants to learn how to be able to do that. And in similar ways, but you're talking you're doing externally with the children, I help them to understand that they do have mastery, that they can have different trails that they can go down, and a more deep trench of rightfulness, so that they're moving the water down, so to speak, it's great, that's really helpful at a soul level is is that you do want to be able to help be whatever age the child or the adult is to be aware that one of the missions on planet Earth is to be first be aware of the fact that we are co creators, whether we're aware of it or not, but when we want to do is be more intentional about it. And so when we're more intentional about it, then we're creating more of the world of joy of happiness, a piece that we really want in our world, as opposed to feeling as if it just happens when it happens, that we do have some master controllability over.

Scott Feld: 00:27:23

Really? Yeah, really well said totally 100% agree. It's like the co creation, it's the subconscious doesn't have any ability to disagree. So here we are going to grow something because we're, we're thinking all the time, we're thinking about something. And when we think about it as CO creator, as they're being the thinking stuff of the universe, that God the infinite out there, right, we put it there, its energy, we put it out there. And if we're not doing it consciously with effort, we're gonna get whatever we get. We're gonna grow whatever we grow. We didn't even know that we grow. why are things so hard? Why do I not have money? Why am I broke? Why am I not getting good grades? Why do you know people not like me? Why is this whatever it might be? We're growing it with our thoughts. Because our thoughts, our feelings, our feelings, our actions, we're doing that and hear all the sudden word, like, get strangled by weeds. And we want to know, and why was my soul life so hard for us? When over here, there's like, this person has all these beautiful flowers and vegetables in this incredible garden. The difference being that the thinking, which you're putting out into the world, and then thinking,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:28:46

exactly, so for interrupting, but some great comments you're making are thinking impacts our feelings, our feelings, impact our actions and our behaviors. And now we're in a kind of round robin, of activities that we may or may not like, and would like to change. But there was something that you also said that I thought was really important. Where we put our attention. This is what I taught the secrets about is when we put our attention is where we get more experiences around. So we have our experiences always focused on the weeds. We can get more weeds.

Scott Feld: 00:29:18

Yeah. Yeah, we are. Yeah, and all of these kinds of little ways that I explained this to who I serve and work with are just the ways where they can get a visual, right and then go Oh, yeah, I can actually see. Like, if I put energy and the energy in, in gardening, would be the sun and the water and the good soil. It's like, every I said, I'm like Who here is stress? Who here has like wood concerns? Who here has been told they have anxiety? Who here is like constantly worried or doubts themselves? And it's like hand after hand after hand after hand after hand. When you say, Who here is super competent? Who here believes like in their abilities? Who hears calm? Who hears joyful most of the time? And it's like, no, not, you know, it's like, an I show him and I go well, as you think this is hard, I'm stressed. I have anxiety, you know, and, and it's horrible to because parents, sorry, parents that this is you. It's many. We tell our kids, they have anxiety. And then they start living into that. It's almost like a label, we stick on them. And now they have to make sure that they are anxiety. And they don't know like, there's, it's a prison like, it's a box that you're like, put into the anxiety prison. Now you're can't get out, this is the thing you carry around with you. It's kind of like if I gave you a big sack. And all of a sudden, I said, inside, let's take you on a xiety. Anxiety, there's the anxiety stack, and you get a walk around with it. And life feels so heavy, and you're hunched over and life's hard and you're exhausted at the end of the day. Why? Because you're carrying around anxiety. And all you have to do is show them and go You do know that you could carry around confidence. And competence isn't heavy. In fact, you know, what confidence does, it lifts you up, it's underneath you. It pushes you forward, it's your fuel, it moves you. You want to carry something, right? Or you want to have something help you support you move you. And when they get that they go, Well, I want the second one, right? Like, okay, drop it, then drop it. I know like you've been carrying it for a while, but drop it. And then every time it calls for you to pick it up again, don't be because it's how we switch the paths. I have anxiety, I have anxiety, I have anxiety, everything's stressful. Everything's hard digging a deep path. Always go into that one, drop it, let's just at least start digging in another path. I always tell everybody I teach I go don't believe me. Right? All I'm telling you is ideas, have seen them work a million times. I know for myself personally that they're way better because I've done both. I've carried worry, doubt and fear. And I've been lifted by confidence. And I choose competence every time. Every time. I want to be lifted. But it takes something first you have to become aware. And then you have to take action. You have to move. You have to be willing, because you know Dr. Judith, because of what you do, you know that people live in their comfort zones. But but they but comfort doesn't mean comfortable. Comfort me as used to. I know it. It's painful. It hurts. I don't like it. But I know

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:33:16

the familiarity. Yeah, so we keep it and we hold on to it, you're making a very good point. And for individuals on that. Another point that you may, what came to my mind was the absorbent mind, with Montessori teachers, similar to what you're trying to teach the children that our minds are very absorbent. And so if a family or the environment that we find ourselves in the child or veto doll, we absorbed some of that energy of worry, or frustration or anger, or sadness or whatever it may be, and not realizing that we're having an impact such as parents, on our children. And so being able to teach them how to be able to carry if you're going to carry something, why not carry confidence, if you're going to have to carry something. Think about using your willpower in a way that becomes God's power. Knowing that you have other those super forces or superpowers that you're talking about that I talk about in a little bit different way but similarly, that they are available to you because they are unseen. We don't think we need we can we didn't know about them. Yeah. And actually, the unseen is more powerful than what sometimes is seen if we can learn how to tap into it. And that's the preciousness that I see that you're doing is helping children at a young age to learn how to tap in to these unseen forces that can strengthen them and therefore strengthen their soul and their soul growth and development

Scott Feld: 00:34:46

and master life. And when I started this podcast, I said I wanted to know how some people were so successful had such high levels of performance regard It lists of situations circumstances. And that was my study. And that's what I was obsessed with finding out. And this is it. This is the difference in those moments. See, even if they didn't have a lot, if they did have a lot, it didn't necessarily matter if they were shown these inner powers that they have their ability to use their imagination, their willpower, their ability to become resourceful to figure it out, right? Go figure it out, I'll be here to support you, let's figure it out. But figure it out.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:35:40

That is so true. We are so much an instant society in which things are just given to us, and always given to us that we don't have develop the critical faculties of thinking and figuring it out. And so we're getting a great disservice to our children. And the more that you, you're helping to give that back to them that you can figure this out. It may take time, it may take effort varies birth all of that. Grow.

Scott Feld: 00:36:11

It is but it takes more effort on everybody's side, right. And as a parent who works, I get it, like sometimes, you just want to just give like, just go to, you know, here's the iPad, here's the whatever I need some time. But if that's not at least put into context, like we don't even say it to our kids, we don't even say hey, I got some things to do. So what I'm going to do for you is I'm going to give you this iPad, but what I would like you to do with that iPad, is I want you to thought depends on the age of the kid, right? But if they're the age, like I teach where they can look on the internet, I want you to find five things that would have you get past something that's bothering you, I know that you've been struggling in math, I want you to go find five things, right? It's like a game. And I want you to bring them back to me, because when I'm done with my work, and you're done with that, we're going to meet up and we're going to look at those five things. And we're going to pick one, one thing, and now we're going to have this house this information that we didn't have that we can go take action on, right, and then what's going to happen is you figured it out, I was there to support you. And now this thing that was stressing you out and weighing you down, you now have a breath of fresh air, you have a light, you have an opening because you now see something that can help you. And you did that. Now there's a huge, huge value. And that probably took about 30 seconds to say that, and probably a few minutes, maybe up to 15 minutes afterwards. But it's connection with your kid time. And it makes a huge difference. That kind of stuff is is the stuff that we miss oftentimes. But if we don't miss it, I think it makes a huge, huge, huge difference. So they don't have to do it every time it's just a matter of implementing it into the life of our kids and into our own lives as well.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:38:01

And what you're trying to do inadvertently is being purposeful, you're helping your children to be more purposeful, and why they're getting on the internet, they're doing something that they're gonna bring back to their parents and to be able to have this more enriched type of relationship and discussion, because you'd be amazed about the wisdom of what a child brings back. And they have different thoughts and ideas about it, that it has a wonderful conversation that you have with your child, that is a precious memory, it becomes a precious memory.

Scott Feld: 00:38:31

And when we think about video games, video games are a big part of a lot of kids lives. And what happens is that without these powers that we're talking about, videogames become an escape, they don't become an enjoyment, see the problem. And the problem everybody has with video games is that the kids will go hide out for hours in dark rooms, and play video games, right. And there's other things they should be doing. And so like maybe their homework or social skills or whatever are falling to the side. And it's because nothing's been placed around video games. So they're told video games are bad. But nothing's really being done about it, right? And then there's an option. And that option is always to include video games. But as like a fun thing you do has a break from going for a goal doing things that you love, even if you don't love them doing them because there's a bigger picture for you that you've drawn that you've created, and then play some video games for a half hour, right? Because what a video games teach us if we tell kids how to get past obstacles, how to learn something, how to move forward on something, right? Yesterday when I was teaching, I was like, video games are great if you guys use them the right way. Let's talk about all the great things of video games. Do you know what kind of friend it comes to these kids because I get them and I go video games are fine, but when Explain the right way. And let's add to let's not escape into video game world and come out and be like, Oh my gosh, I didn't do my homework, I don't get to fail the test, my mom's gonna be mad at it. And all of this weight that comes with it, it's not enjoyable. Or there's too much baggage around it. So the video games can be good,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:40:21

that's a great balance near and seeing the advantage of how your games feel to help to have some break, but not video games as 24/7. Yeah, and having you know, everything's in DOS, that can be really helpful in this kind of, I know, we're, you're winding down to the segment of our time together. And we've talked about so much of what you're doing to help to bring more presence and more interactions that are more purposeful and meaningful in your interactions with helping children to understand themselves, their inner self, more than just the surface of who they are, which is wonderful. And you know what, I think the soul is like saying, Yay, thank you. Because the more they get in touch with their inner cell, the more their soul and their intuitive self speaks to them, and give some guidance, which is wonderful, because a lot of times kids can feel empty inside, because they don't know how they don't know the roadmap or how to get inside themselves. And that's actually what you're giving them. So if there was a word or a phrase that you want to end this segment with, what would that be for you?

Scott Feld: 00:41:39

I think consciously engagement comes to mind, like purposeful, like you had said, like purposeful engagement and interest goes a long way. speaking their language, speaking to them, not at them, is really important. Being a bridge, a guide for them. But as we said earlier about my own son, allowing yourself to be guided, don't be stuck in your ways that you've been in this parenting thing, especially. We weren't. It's new, right? Even if you have a 12 or 13 year old, it's new, like because it's this 12 is different than 13. And 12 is definitely different than nine and nine is definitely different than six. And it's a growing learning process together. That was a bunch of words, but I think they all kind of fit together. But yeah, engagement, like engagement and then connection.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:42:41

By being engaged, you get more fully connected. And by being more fully connected, what I hear is you have the child to ever get into a greater sense of centeredness, and happiness and joy in their life. That they really like to

Scott Feld: 00:42:57

as a parent, right, because our our soul is fed by connection. I mean, we are here together to connect. Right?

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:43:04

Right, exactly. So we're going to end this segment. Thank you, Scott, for your pearls of wisdom and what you're really getting in the next segment to pick it back up and have some more discussions with him. Thank you seekers. I think this has been a wonderful episode for you to think about this from your own perspective, your soul evolution. But also if you have children, and our parents, or you know our parents who may enjoy listening to this, please send them our way and let them hear this relationship between helping to advance the outer understanding of what children can be able to bring into themselves to have a greater sense of fulfillment. Bye for now.