Barriers and Roadblocks to Soul Progress: #3a – Weary Worry - Part I, with a Check-in and Update | EP 027

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know, and to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:00

Hi, I'm back. And you probably been noticing that I've been rotating different types of episodes. And I've been doing some solo episodes. And this is with a series of barriers to soul progress. And I'm going to talk a little bit more about that in a minute. With the solo episodes. I'm also a having episodes about real living adventures. And you'll see I'm having guests come in and talk about their experiences to integrate and show you how they have done this, either consciously or unconsciously, their soul has been involved in the process. And sometimes it can be unconscious, which is fine. But it's really delightful to bring up to individuals, when you're able to hear something they've done that is always unique and advancing their soul progress. I'm going to continue to intersperse this with them some of the soul episodes. But the other thing that I'm doing periodically to is using real life adventures, and that's R E E L which are for movies, and looking at those experiences through the lens of the soul and have a guest coming on talking about that as well. We have this kind of interspersing process going on to make it a more engaging and light filled discussions around people's experiences around some of the concepts that I'm talking about. And around movies that are very much in alignment with some of the foundational principles I've talked about last year, and helping people to begin to understand their soul, which is the substance of their life. It's been fun for me to do it. And I hope it's been fun for you than listen. So the thing that I wanted to share with you was I was talking with a group of friends which are delightful friends about maybe the titles too boring in terms of barriers to soul progress. And so they were really nice to to say okay, well let's kind of brainstorm then what are other words that can be used. And after that brainstorming period and another friend within the same group came back and text me another word that could possibly be used? And one of the things she said what about Roblox? I said Roblox so I took it in reflected as my higher self. Also, later on, asked another family member. And you know, what barriers relate to things that we don't see. They can be unseen. And that they can sometimes even being beneath the surface of things that are going on that is creating static, or challenges or difficulties for Sol progress. roadblocks, are usually things that we can see that you remember when you see on a road, and it says, you know, has these signs up telling you you can't go any further, because of these barriers that went up? Those are the roadblocks are things we can see. And those things we can see doesn't mean that we don't try to go through the roadblock and we end up getting into harm's way because the roadblock was up there for a reason. But what I'm talking about in this Roblox is things that we are doing. And maybe it can actually be like we're sabotaging ourselves and our sole progress, that we may be overly doing it. Or maybe doing it in such a way that is not into the benefit of our soul, even though we may think it is because our ego feels so great about it. I remember what I talked about in past episodes about the ego personna It's always wants to be in the limelight thinking it's doing the greatest and the best and the wonderful thing, but it may not be as it relates to the soul evolution, so progress that we're talking about. So again, I'm not trying to slam on the ego and think the Eagles terrible, terrible, terrible, I am just saying the ego has the appropriate place. And sometimes the ego is too much having prominence in our world. And it doesn't need to our soul should have that promise, our soul should be on that King and Queen seat setting, and helping to direct our life and helping us gain the mastery that we want to have in our life. As I was getting back, so as I was thinking about this issue around barriers and roadblocks, barriers and roadblocks, I came up with what I wanted to call this episode. And I think those old friends of mind who kind of put this into my consciousness to think about, and I want to call moving forward, these episodes, these solo episodes, that I'm doing barriers and roadblocks to soul progress, barriers, things we don't necessarily see, and roadblocks, which we may see. But it still creates a challenge for our soul progress. So it's going to be barriers and roadblocks to soul progress. Yay. Let me know what you think. I'm always interested to hear that. But it feels more enriching and more depth and breadth to what I'm trying to convey as relates to what gets in our way for so. So progress. Now, the other piece is, is that I also want to be able to talk about superpowers. And I'm not talking about them right now, because I want to give you the opportunity to start to observe some of these barriers and roadblocks that we've been talking about, such as creeping condemnation. And if you did that exercise around discernment, you start starting to being aware of what's going on there. And the other one we talked about just recently, was the acquired anger, and understanding how to move towards patience, and start to ask your higher self, and engage in your spiritual nature to help you in that, and you can go back and listen to those episodes, what I want you to do is to grapple a little bit with this, it's okay to grapple, because when we can start to see how these particular roadblocks and barriers are showing up. And we're seeing at the frequencies happening in our lives, we're seeing the duration in terms of how long these particular barriers and roadblocks are showing up like creeping criticism, then we start to be aware of like, Hmm, now can I catch myself and stop and make a shift and change by some of the things we've talked about in previous episodes. So what I actually are wanting you to do, is to build your muscle to build that muscle that allows you to be able to when I start talking about superpowers, is added value. Another way of thinking about this building of that muscle is like for example, for watching, yes, for watching, which I'm not, but I was thinking about for watchers, because they have scores, ability, watch different birds, and understanding the colors and what type of bird is based on colors. And then they're looking at shapes. And they're looking at unique features

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:09:03

of that of that particular bird flock of birds. And they're looking at like, their performance, it's formations that they form in our performance is how it shows up at work, how it shows up in our life, how does it show up in our conversations with other individuals and our family relationships that we have, and are working in a supercharged high stress work environment? How do these particular qualities that are mentioned in bringing it up to your attention? How do they show up? How do they manifest themselves just as like a bird formation, their their flying and a clicker formation in order to help with reduce the wind speed, excuse me, or increase the wind speed that they can have? Because in that particular formation, where you're looking at it from the standpoint of what is my performance and how often that I do these particular types of qualities that may actually slowed down, not speed up, that may actually slow down my ability of my connection with my sole source. And allow me to have a greater sense of fulfillment, a greater sense of mastery, and balance within my life. I hope that makes sense. And the other thing I've wanted to share with you, is a third barrier or roadblock. Third one, is something that I'm wondering if you've ever experienced, worry, I know it's something that I experienced, it's different types of worry very about the future, or you're about the past, for your bet, what happened today, and what we want to do about it, wanting to make sure that covering all our bases, I think a lot of people worry. And it's something we need to be a little bit more active and aware when it's happening to us. Because at a subtle level, it does have an impact on our souls progress. And that's what we're going to be talking about in this episode. We don't realize that worry, and which many people experience, but also what other people experienced this anxiety. So you have the worry, and you have on the other end anxiety, even up to panic type that can happen for people. And so those are exaggerated concerns and issues that are going on. But I'm interested in that that level. And yes, if you have, there's different types of anxiety disorders that you can have, such as generalized anxiety, panic disorder. But that is something going to therapy to help to resolve and there's different methodologies and tools that are out there that can be very helpful such as CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy. But what I'm interested in thinking about more is on the lower end of the spectrum of the things we worry about, and how those things that we worry about can absorb our energy, I really do believe that everything is energy. And if we're worrying so much, it literally means into fatigue. So many people think about the some of the common things that they struggle with, when their that worry has moved to the other end, especially to the NG sigh. And so I guess I need to talk a little bit about the NG side because I really want to keep focused more in a few minutes on the worry side. And so on the anxiety side, in the common symptoms that people really struggle with, is this nervousness, this jitteriness that goes on within them, the sweating palms, or they find that they're sweating their bodies sweating profusely, or they have exaggerated views about being harmed or in some way. Now, these are perception, sometimes there is some reality to the anxiety and the anxiety is very helpful to allow you to know oh, something's up and need to get out of the situation, I don't need to really be here. The irrational fears are one of the symptoms that go on with that anxiety level that I just mentioned are on that continuum. And then with that, then there's physical symptoms that people have that you may identify with in terms of rapid heartbeat, or a sense of shortness of breath, or you're finding that your your chest is getting tighter, and tighter and tighter, and it feels very much just a pressure on your chest, or feeling scattery or scared all the time. And then having an irrational thoughts. And sometimes our, our anxiety on that level can get to the point of being forgetful about things. And that forgetfulness has an impact upon, we're just not memory brain things the same way, maybe other people are remembering things. So we can have interference because of the anxiety that it does have an impact upon our memory. As well as we're finding that over time, this anxiety may getting into feeling a little bit more noise, or more irritable, or feeling more impulsive, or feeling that you know what, I'm just tired of this. I'm just tired. I have all this anxiety. And so what we end up doing is numbing our feelings. And that's not necessarily helpful to us at all. Because it is our feelings that allows us to know how we need to be and how we need to show up. And if we're frozen in that, then we're not quite sure how we feel. And we're not quite sure how other people feel about us as well. So other things that can happen with this a higher degree of anxiety is muscle twitching and chest tightening, as I mentioned to you before, or you can feel the degree of restlessness and then that anxiety I can start changing into feeling as if, in that restlessness, I just need to get out of here I need to get out of this relationship or I need to get out of this workspace that I'm in right now. Because there's a lot of things that are going on in terms of your perceptions and the hormonal releases taken place. And the amplified physical sensations that are happening for you, you may be in a state of being hyper ly aroused. And so use that fight to fight freeze or appease type of qualities that will come out. There are different levels of anxiety and there is mild, which we're going to be talking more about in terms of the brewery aspect of this anxiety continuum. But there is also a moderate level, severe and panic levels of anxiety that people can experience which is sometimes the severe forms of definitely need to look for a healthcare professional to manage. So in this episode, we're more focused on the more worried the weary warrior is a person who is just worrying all the time, and they're finding that they're becoming more fatigued, and they're finding that it does create some degree of nervousness or shakiness and and also some degrees of maybe even trembling and filling that jitteriness inside it, but it's, it's controllable, you're functional, you can function with it, you don't like it, but you're functioning, okay. But we're not aware of the fact that this these low grade, which I'll call, really worrying that it's doing is wearing us away wearing us down over time, that it does have not a positive impact on Soul evolution. And it's just if we just that saying that goes, death by 1000 slices, that we have to be aware of everything is energy, we are energy, our thoughts are energy, our emotions, our energy, how we even perceive things is using energy. And so we want to conserve our energy. And part of that and the reason why I want to deal with the Rarey worrier is because they'd be concerned to conserve our energy at the things we worry about at the minimal level, then we may or may not have to move to the moderate and severe levels that go on in terms of this anxiety continuum. Worry is really the sense that there may be something bad that's going to happen, or unpleasant about what has happened in the past was happening currently, and what's going to be happening in the future, that is a sense that there's going to be something that's going to be negative, it's not going to be a positive outcome. And so you're, you're actually having to deal with this agitation. Because you're you're really concerned about how things are going to work out.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:18:05

Henceforth, creating that, an easiness, that happens for us. And one of the things in our daily living is that if this worry is taking place in your workplace, you're worrying about assignments that need to get done, how you're going to get them done, and get out a boss or a co worker and how they're treating you. And you're moving into daydreaming about what you're going to say and what you're going to do. It takes a lot of energy away from the task at hand that you need to do. Or you're worrying and in a relationship about the relationship and you really liked this particular person, but you're not quite sure if they like you or not, or you think that they're not telling you the truth, or that they're doing something that is behind the scene of things like dating someone else, or being with someone else, then that level of worry takes up a lot of energy, both in the workplace or if it's in a relationship is taking up emotional energy. And when are we take up certain amounts, we just like we think about having so much energy per day. That's why at the end of day, we say we're really tired, and we need to get some rest because we're tired. Well, it's us because we used all our energy for that particular day. And rest or sleep allows us to recharge our batteries and take on the next day. But if you're using a lot of your energy through the worry factor, this Rarey worrying that's going on. It's really fatiguing over time as I sit at work, or with a partner, if it's happening simultaneously is taking more energy out, which doesn't allow us to focus and people will say you know I lost track and remember I didn't realize I need to do bla bla bla or get off my radar. Are because you were worrying about something that might happen with the relationship that you're involved with, or you're, you're worried about something that's going on at work. And maybe if you're going to lose your job, then how do you want to counter whatever you think they're going to say. So you start building up these images and thoughts of what you want to say, and how you want to say, just in case, so you want to be prepared. But all that, again, is taken out of energy. So be it at work, or be it in your personal relationships, or just with yourself, because the work that we do with ourself, is having an impact upon our self esteem, and how we feel about ourselves, especially if we're worrying about how we're coming across. Or we'll have communication in that process of how we're coming across. Or we're worried about how we're being perceived by other individuals, that they may not perceive us as being smart enough, or good enough, or be be enough in terms of being worthy to be in the position that you're in, or in your, in your interactions with your friends, and how they are perceiving you, you have to be aware, that worry can take up a lot of energy, and have an impact on our soul, evolution and advancement. Now, this impact can be very subtle. But again, what I said earlier, it can be death by 1000 slashes. So we're not realizing that we're slowly going down the top of the mountain, we're rolling down that mountain. And what we actually want to do is climb up the mountain and be at the pinnacle of our sole evolution, and also handling the daily issues and situations that may come our way. If we're not the ones trying to stop or reduce the type of worry that is going on for us, then our worry can be like little monkeys swinging from tree to tree to tree about so many things that's going on, that may make it period perceived to be scattered. And we may feel ourselves to be scattered as well. And if we're scattered, usually we're not anchored. We're not anchored in something greater than ourselves. We're not anchored in our, our I Am Presence or creator, or Lord. We're not anchored in being able to be more Christ, like as Jesus was. Because we are so much worried about these external things that are going on around us are going on within us. When they're going on around us. We're the ones who have to say, let's see what's going on here. Why am I worrying about this situation? Is it something that I need to worry about? Because maybe it may not be at all in the grand scheme of things. So you have to be the one to start to observe? Where do I worry? When do I worry? What do I tend to worry about? And start identifying that. And then also internally within your own internal Castle, you have to begin to look at yourself and say, what's going on that I am worrying about this? What is it triggering within me to make me feel that I need to worry. Part of that is is looking at misbeliefs that we may be having. And those Miss believes, can tie into the all or nothing thinking, for example, that's a misbelief. And that means something has to be either one way or the other way, there's no gray. And in fact, most of life is lived in the gray zone. Yes, there are certain things that are clear yeses and clear nose. But there are other things there certainly are in the gray, we have to figure out based upon our values, what's going to be the best thing for us to be able to do in this situation, again, is based upon our values, not about everyone else's values. So knowing yourself and your values, and understanding this soul sensitivity that you do have and you're desiring to walk to walk a spiritual path, then you are beginning to say, what are those things that are really important to me? And how does this situation that I'm worrying about fit into that and be quiet enough, still enough to be able to allow the answer to flow to you what that is so that we can get a handle on understanding why am I worrying about this? That and the mere fact we began to ask ourselves that what when, where how types of questions about the worry that's going on? Then we begin to be able to stake that a particular situation that we tend to worry frequently about this is not to say, Okay, this is where I need to begin to work, and start to change my thoughts, or my feelings, or my interpersonal interactions or behaviors in that particular situation. Or I know it's something dealing with my self esteem. And I need to, in my mind to be more confident. So you start working on that being a self esteem, you start reading about self esteem, you start looking at how other people are showing up more confident, really, and how that you may be able to do something similar. But it usually begins how we're thinking, because our thinking impacts our feelings, our feelings, do impact our behaviors. And so part of that thinking feeling, and you're trying extra is squared out my square into understanding there's past memories that we do have. And sometimes we don't take that in consideration. Everything that's happened to us in our life does have its records in us, so to speak. It does have whether we're conscious of it or not, at the subconscious unconscious levels, those experiences have been recorded. And it's something I said in one of the episodes in my beginning episodes, about Murphy, and, and the power of the subconscious mind, which is a book that he wrote, he said, You have to think about your subconscious mind as being a blank slate, or a blank tape in which you can, everything you think everything you say, everything you do is going on to this blank tape, or like going on to your iPhone, where you're recording, everything is continuously recording everything that's taken place. Just because we forget what we recorded doesn't mean our subconscious or unconscious mind forgot about it, it actually did not forget, and it's just kind of housed as these records in a library, like books, house, you know, in our in our subconscious unconscious mind. So sometimes the things that we're worrying about or concerned about is based upon past memories of situations that have happened to us, that our unconscious and subconscious mind are aware of. And it gives you a red alert, you got to be alert about this situation, because there's something similar like this happened to you before.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:27:30

And whether you're keenly aware of this, what's going on at the subconscious or unconscious levels isn't helpful to be, but you don't have to all the way be. And instead, you got to say, this keeps happening to me, this is a particular theme that comes up with this type of person or situation. Therefore, it's something that I need to pray about. at a soul level, in order to help your soul, you need to say I want to pray about this and ask for greater enlightenment and greater wisdom about what I need to do in the situation. So you say Lord, God Almighty helped me to see the situation for what it is, and helped me to be able to handle this in the best way possible, that honors my soul. And the more that we ask ourself that, the more that we start getting answers and glimpses of what we need to do to move to the next step, and the next step, or the next level. And the next level. It is a See you on that trampoline that I've talked about in other episodes, which are bouncing and looking higher, because that trampoline is got down, you're bouncing on that trampoline up higher to see it at a higher elevation, as what do I need to do? And how do I need to act? And what do I need to say, in this particular situation, and that internal relationship that you're having with your soul, and your higher source that that source, the Lord, the Creator, the I Am Presence is all coming together to give you more information than you would have had if you had not asked. And with that in mind, I want to talk about worry. And specifically weariness that weary the W E A. R why, and why I call this episode, weary worry. Because the W is we have to be able to look and look at a word period of time. Take a time what you're finding, if especially if you worry a lot is look at one time of the day. How often in terms of the frequency that I noticed myself worrying. It may not happen when you wake up in the morning time. It may only happen do certain types of situations set a few but you finally start to identify what those are. So that's where I'm going to say then you can have a worry period and no thing okay, this between this time and this time, I'm gonna worry about something our about button, you know, between one and two o'clock, but other other times I'm not going to worry about it. But that's with the notion that you're Chessy your highest self and your soul self, to be able to give you what the information that you need, if what you're trying to do with your, your mind, it's just give it some space to say, Okay, if you need to worry, you can worry between one and two. But what I'm working on in the higher way is this connection with my sole source, my I Am Presence. That's what you're kind of focused on in those domains and terms of if the mind needs to worry period, it can have that from one to two. But the soul is what you're trying to do is have it continued connectedness to something greater with so your energy can flow more. Now, the E is for to invoke a mantra, or a statement, or a Fiat for yourself, that helps you to kind of move away from the weariness of worrying. And so that mantra can be something simple as I am greater than this worry, I release it. And I asked my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ to occupy my mind, my heart at all that I am this day. So you want to do something that is feels like it's going to be soothing to you, and that some people is Jesus, other people, they may be Buddha, other people may be Mother Teresa, and look for statements that they have said, or other great leaders or saints that they've said, that feels right to you, that you can be able to use and you can look that up in the internet. The A is for allowing for you to have quiet time. Get out of the in order to reduce the worry, we do need quiet time, even if it's just for a few minutes, just to breathe, and it'd be centered. The R is for review. And when I'm just pause here for a minute, because what I'm thinking about is giving you things to counter the word Rarey. NIS, we already talked about worry. But I'm giving you things to counter the Riri. So that when where he stands by itself, you are you already have a way and a means in which to deal with worry when it comes up for you. And is not moving into that fatigue, ongoing worry 24/7 No, you're finding is being reduced. And therefore when the Riri ness is reduced, the worry also helps to be reduced. So the R is for review of the irrational thoughts, the misbeliefs that I talked about earlier, that there are certain misbeliefs that we're holding that we are the ones who have to say to ourselves, Is it true? Is this one I'm thinking about? Is it true? And this is frequently what I say to some of my executive clients in terms of my clients is Is it true? And usually some of the things that we're worrying about, or we're concerned about, it's not true. Or it's as if a fraction of it is true. But the other 99% is not really true. But we're working as if it is true. So review their rational thought the all or nothing thinking between which is that black and white thinking or over generalization about things that it happened to you one time, therefore, is always going to happen to you, or will continue to happen to you. We view what are the things that I'm thinking about, write them down, keep a journal, and then go back and look at that put the journal away for 24 hours or whatever it may be, then come back and look at it and just say is this true? What I'm writing here? And when you start looking at the statements you're making, that you can say that's an overgeneralization. Or that's a filter by which I saw that by and of filters. We're seeing something through a negative lens, but it's a could be another way of seeing something that's taking place. We're the ones that need to be the Sherlock Holmes of ourselves and being able to unsure that we are centered, balanced and more integrated with our soul and our soul quest to continue to live through life's experiences to continue to grow through experiences. The why really fundamentally boils down to you that you have to work on being your best self. You have to be working on being aware that there are certain barriers that can get in our way and that are being and create it through our worry that we can be able to manage that we have the wherewithal, by the grace of having thought and having a spiritual path that we can be able to begin to navigate in a different way. But it does take conscious and intentional living. It does take care of yourself with a strong support system of individuals who are willing to say, You're worrying again, is it true? And you may say, Oh, thank you, thank you. No, no, no really isn't true. And so what is another way of thinking of looking or advancing this particular situation that you find yourself in. And sometimes one last thing I want to say before ending this episode, is mindfulness practices to go a long way to help to reduce the mind with that cognitive agitation of worry is taking place, which has an impact upon our feeling unsettled, and packed off on our physiology and physical form in terms of the heart racing, or jitteriness into feelings, which are some of the lower forms of what we're able to do to us, says, we're not really focusing on the anxiety aspects, but just trying to nip in the bud, the worry that goes on a regular basis, from our minds, to our hearts, to our physical physiology. And if we can do some mindfulness practice, by closing our eyes, by breathing in very, very slowly, breathing in a wonderful color, that is lightning, that is harmony, that creates a lot of peace and a smile on your face than holding that breath. And then allowing that breath to go to every place in the body where there is a worry going on taking in grabbing that, like filings, black files, and then you're releasing it through the mouth, and exhaling through the mouth, letting go those filings and releasing and letting go and then pausing for a second. And then allow yourself to breathe in and long, deep breath of that wonderful color. And doing the same thing again. And what I may do is in one of the next episodes, do kind of a visualization, mindfulness meditation that could be of help to you with all these things I'm talking about as relates to barriers to soul growth and advancement. Thank you. I hope that was helpful. These are beginning stages are having a conversation around these barriers that create entrapment for the soul. Bye for now.