Barriers to Soul Progress: #2 – Acquired Anger | EP 026

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond, to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are mastering life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:00

Hi, I'm back to talk about another soul entrapment or trap that happens to us. And not being not being aware that there are these different types of patterns, yours, even ways in which we perceive that can entrap our soul. And I'm here to talk about the second one of many, which I'll be talking about this year. The second one is related to acquired anger. Remember Star Wars, when Luke, the main character, and the statement was being made, there's a disruption in the force. And that was to convey Luke who had a greater and greater sensitivity in higher awareness that the energy that he was dealing with or projected or had to manage, they could be in homeostasis in harmony, or there can be a disruption in the force. And so one of the disruptions I want to talk about in our personal energy is acquired anger. And how it creates this incoherency within us gets into this terminology from HeartMath. But you can certainly look up on the internet. And they talk about this in harmony, this, this challenging energy of incoherency that is not in alignment with the natural rhythm of our heartbeat, which allows us to stay alive and well. So what happens is with this acquired anger, and I'm not talking about pathological anger, which is chronic, and usually inappropriate response to a situation or behavior that has happened to a person, and it is chronic in the fact that the person is being always explosive, with situations where they felt there was something that was done to them. That wasn't right. And so they automatically become impulsive in their anger, and show it in destructive ways, usually. And usually, that does require some guidance and some support and some help and counseling to help them to be able to learn the appropriate skills to be able to manage their anger. So I'm not talking about that, talking about this acquired anger that has happened in our lines, that we see other people doing it. And it seems like it gets some results. But it's not necessarily doing all the time. But when something that happens to us and we feel that there is an injustice, or there's something that is endangering us in some ways, in the world of psychology, they talk about your it's a natural basic and emotion that one has in terms of getting angry. And that that may have His truth to it. And I'm going to talk about a little bit more about the psychology about it. But I'm also going to talk about this in the soul world, what it all means to so when we are getting angry, in other words for anger, and we don't realize is these irritations or vexations or annoyances, and feeling irked in some way, or these levels of acquired anger that we're receiving or engaging in, that has an impact upon us, and also has impact upon other people. And they're welcome that though well being state for themselves. So this intense emotional state can lead to wrath, which is something that can be worked on professionally. with a counselor, as I mentioned, but also when we are experiencing more acute levels of stress, the occasional levels of anger, that is stress related. Because, for example, when we feel like we're in danger in any particular way, we do automatically have this cortisol that has been released. And we do get into that fight, flight, freeze, or appease type of modality, in order to quickly assess and evaluate what we need to do. And in that angry state, because we feel like an injustice has been done, that cortisol that has been released stays in our system for a period of time. And that's why it's hard for us to let it go. Because we've been hyper ly aroused, and to protect ourselves in some particular way. And yes, it can lead to being aggressive in ways that are not healthy for us. And what I want to talk about is, again, these occasional experiences that we're have learned, and, and growing up or from other key figures in our life, that we've come to be aware that being irritated or being frustrated, or being annoyed, all forms of anger, and in the lesser amount on this continuum of anger. And because the highest continuum of anger is being really getting into aggression, and going after the person because we're so angry, or as a person said, All I can see is red. Because I was so angry, on the on all sorts of chronic that this person is always seeing red, because there's many things that are getting the main gray that's on the continuum, and I'm talking about the lower part of the continuum are the frustrations, irritations, that people will experience the fuming and venting, needing to vent, you know, some of their anger that they're experiencing. And you know, those are the lower continuum on the on the Richter scale of anger. So it's more of what I call acute states of angered anger that we've acquired over time and think it's okay to have these acute states of irritations and vexations and annoyances, and venting and fuming types of things. But we are on a soul path have to learn how to reduce those as much as possible to not exist at all, and moving in from into a different level of our being, and knowing that we're on a soul path. And that we want to always be in attunement with what is going to be harmonious, uplifting, and guiding to our soul, as opposed to what's pulling us down. That's creating that density in us and feeling as if we can't feel the connection to our true essence of who we are. And that's important true. When we have the even low grade types of energy, negative energy that's going on through irritation or frustrations, we are actually have some levels of static, static, that we can't quite hear, or have the sensitivity of being in connection to our soul, and what are the needs of the soul. If we're being really loud and angry and mean spirited, it actually frightens our soul. Being that occurring, and our soul may shut down, it may go into dormancy, it may be dormant. And so that's another reason why we don't feel our inner self as much is because we actually, the soul has decided to go into a different room and shut the door, or go into the basement or the attic of yourself and shut the door for a period of time, until it can feel that it's safe. Just as we need outer safety, or we need psychological safety or emotional safety with the sole also need safety for it to be able to shine and wants to grow, to learn the lessons that it needs to learn. We understand that, you know, in the psychological world, then anger is a basic emotion of survival.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:09:19

The degree in which we're getting angry in the consistency or the frequency by which this is happening for us. It can also just join neurons in areas of the brain that is associated with judgment and making better judgments. It can also have an impact on your short term memory and it can weaken your immune system. This is research has been done. If you want to go to the popular side of psychology today.com You can look at all that information, just type in anger, you know, give you a little bit more information there. But what I want to make sure we focus on is is that anger when it's acquired it, that means we've learned it from other people, we learned it from observations, we learned it from the TV, we learned it from movies, we can develop habits of anger, in the form of irritations and frustrations, and normalize them, and think that they're fine. So that acquiring and then there's the natural as in the world of psychology talks about how the basic emotion for survival when we have angry feelings, or irritations or frustrations, which when it's anger, is really the strong, intense and most likely, negative emotions that we're having, that we either perceive, or is actually is a threat that's happening to us, that we feel we need to defend ourselves. And so this is where psychology says, you know, in the, you know, the anger has an appropriate place. Because you do want to survive in a situation in which you're feeling threatened, or where aggression is being used against you in this particular way. But that's not necessarily the norm that this has been happening 24/7, you know, in our day, or in our week in the average person. And we have to realize with anger, too, is we have, if we consistently have this collateral release taking place, we can get numb, and to how we actually feel. And we can't sort through how do I feel about this situation, all I know is that I'm angry about it. And actually, if you're walking a spiritual path, and if you're trying to develop the sensitivities of the soul, you do need to stop and start to think about what's happening. What's the frequency by which I'm getting angry by? What's the degree of intensity on the Richter scale of one to 1010 being high, one being low? And what did I notice that happens to me and observe about what happens to other people in the relationship with them, I'm really, you know, personal relationship, professional relationship with them. And I'm getting angry, and I'm observing, am I am I observing what's going on with the other person. And if you're observing, you see them shutting down, he would she see them maybe backing up. You see them maybe stuttering in terms of communication, not sure what to say, because they feel like they're walking on eggshells, and they don't want to do anything that further disturbs you, or become maybe further angry about something. So we have to realize that we do have impact on other individuals. But when we get angry, be into tunnel vision. And we only see our world and what's going on in our world, in part due to protection, but in part due to the degree and intensity of that emotion showing itself. And then we have to be aware in our soul evolution, that the substance of our life, and that fabric, which I had been talking about that is gold fabric, we actually shrink it a little bit because the soul gets scared. And as I had mentioned earlier, it wants to kind of go dormant. It wants to go into kind of the basement and shut the door and not come out. Because it feels so threatening. And so and so much of a space of negativity. And the soul flourishes as you've heard me talk about this in other episodes, in a state of harmony, a state of learning, a state of grace, a state of being able to figure things out. So I'm not saying not to get angry, never. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying is when that's that emotion comes up of frustration or irritation or vexations or, you know, anger, that we take a stop, we push a pause button. In the process of pushing that pause button, we're breathing, and we're saying okay, you keep on and you keep on hear me say, ask yourself questions, and I give you types of questions to ask. And one of the common questions I say is, what is happening here? What is happening here? Why is this thing situation circumstance person, creating so much of anger or irritation for me? And what I would like to add to you stopping is one thing that I want you to be able to cultivate a little bit more of, and that is patience. Try to de escalate your desire to want to strike back or speak back or act in a negative way back at the thing that is creating the anger for you. and move into breathing, being more mindful of the quality of patience, and just say, Okay, what was my hook here? what hooked me into this situation that got me angry, she usually a sense of injustice of some kind that's taken place. And that injustice is what you want to look at not just externally what the person did, but what it triggered inside yourself. And that injustice being done when you can tap into that, and be very honest with yourself and be able to curious with, okay, what is this person by this push and push this button so strongly within me. And once we can identify what that is, then we can work on that. So the person no longer pushes that particular button. But in situations in which there's high threat that is going to be some bodily harm, or even emotional or mental harm, you need to get out of the way. You need to not be in that circumstance, you need to change the circumstances for certain. But when those are not the type of situations you're dealing with, then you move into with this patience that I'm asking you to reflect on and think more about is you're kind of de escalating it in yourself by not acting immediately, or telling the person you know what, this is really irritating me making me feel more angry about something. And I need to figure this out, can we talk at a later time and give them a time in which you want to talk to them about, but I need to understand what's happening for me. And the best way we can be able to do that is through taking some quiet time. Quiet time. And then you may go and find something that is inspirational, or that gives you greater wisdom and reading of a particular texts be of the Bible, or be it some spiritual teaching that allows you just to reflect and you're asking your inner self, you're asking your own soul to come come out. You know, it's kind of like the door and helped me to understand why this person or this situation or this circumstance triggered this strong emotion for me. So strong of frustrations and vexations and annoyances, because those are the things that we want to begin to root out in ourselves there on the lower level of that spectrum that I talked about that continuum that we can start to look at, and be able not to act, because it's not creating the sense that we got to do something urgently or immediately to let this person know that they can't do this to us. Look at these frustrations, fixations, annoyances, things that are irksome to you, and start working on them. Because it clears the path for you to have sole development, soul growth, more in a consistent way walking your path, because you're working on greater self mastery, which is soul mastery in this case that I'm talking about. So you're not trying to suppress that that irritation, that frustration or the vexation. Not this is not about suppression at all, is more of you're opening yourself through patience, and curiosity, and being honest with yourself to learn, but you need to learn from the experience. And that requires quiet time. That requires reflective time that you willing to have with yourself. And it does require for you to make sure that you are praying to be able to say, what is it that I'm not seeing that I need to see here. And you're asking it to be shown to you in a very straightforward and honest way. Because the more that we ask to be shown something and we sincerely want to see it. The call does compound the answer that's under the laws of the universe.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:19:19

The call compounds the answer because of our consistency and our walking a spiritual path that is value based in Christian principles. A Buddhist principles are principles principles that are uplifting and that help to guide the soul. Those are all helpful things to allow us to not only grow and advance but it feeds our soul. There is something that is called righteous indignation. And it is a kind of interesting form of anger than in Jesus when he was As in the Bible in the Bible, and the money changers, you know, in go in, he felt that the money changes were desecrating the temple of God, what he was really focused on in this righteous indignation, that looked like his anger is out of control. But his anger was not out of control. He was indignant to the ignorance of these, quote, unquote, money changers in the temple of God, that was not honoring the laws of God. And one of the episodes I had talked about some of the universal laws that exist in the universe. And we have to realize that we're not following God's laws. There is something called wrought righteous indignation. But it's used very sparingly, because we also have to be aware of the fact that people have freewill. And that we can follow the laws that are honoring our I Am Presence are God's source, the Lord, a higher self, and we will do our best to be able to honor that. And that is the path of the soul want to do his best because he's willing to understand the laws by which is willing to live its life by and we were were living, we are willing to live our life by. And so I just wanted to mention that. But getting back to this quality that I'm asking you to practice and be aware of, is that when you feel irritated or frustrated, breathe, and just start to observe? Is this a theme? With this particular type of situation, circumstance or person, because I may be this type of personality, I always get annoyed at them. I'm frustrated. But we're not realizing we're misusing our energy through that annoyance of frustration, is energy that's taken away from our soul development and evolution. It actually, as I said earlier, create static between us and the sensitivity of our soul. And we don't want static between our soul that we're cultivating. We don't want to be distant or disconnected from our soul. We actually want greater connection, greater expansion of that gold fabric that is in relationship, our soul, to our I Am Presence, our higher self, you hear me will say this consistently, is that that mediator is teaching us to soul, do Jesus who was an example, Buddha was another example about how to live life more fully and abundantly, being in alignment with God's laws, and being in alignment with harmony, being in alignment with love, and loving kindness. These are all ways in which we're helping our soul to continue to evolve, and continue to grow. And when we are continuing to grow, we have a greater sense of just inner joy. And because we're breaking on these fixations, or these frustrations and irritations, and as we work on them, and we reduce them and start to dissolve them, and we literally, they no longer is this to us people do not push our buttons subtly or overtly in any way. We realize. We stay in a center of joy in fulfilling and feeling more abundance of harmony, and peace. There is no disruption in the force. The force is harmonious within us. We're all in attunement with our soul, and our sole source, which is Scott, the Lord, our mighty I Am Presence. The way Adam this soul entrapment of acquired anger is what we've been talking about in terms of patience. And I want you to begin to think about what's my level of patience with these models, subtle frustrations, anxieties, with these small irritations, vexations, annoyances, and feeling irked at times, and mentally, emotionally, or even physically in our actions, but we're showing it that the more we gain more mastery around these subtle things through patience and working on the choir of patience and observation, and breathing, and being attuned to the fact that you're always asking your higher self, what is the best thing to do in this situation that is in front of you. All this is helping you to gain greater self mastery on this one quality that It is pervasive in our society of anger, frustration coming and manifesting as irritation, vexation, annoyances. And in general, feeling as if we are fuming about something, or needing to vent in what's going on in ourselves. And I'm not saying it's not helpful to be able to talk to people about things that are getting you annoyed or frustrated and angry, that's fine. What I'm saying is, you have to be able to gain mastery through that. And one quality that moves you in the right direction is patience, patience with yourself, and patience with other individuals. And the other piece of that, with their patience is going to work on it. I want you to in between now and the next time you hear another episode of this podcast, these you begin observing yourself, looking at the subtle things that are creating the irritations frustrations in your world. And start to ask yourself, those key questions that I mentioned earlier, ask yourself, what do I need to do here, Lord, guide me, helped me raise something inspirational, helped me to understand to have the greater mastery with this particular type of subtle energy coming up with me because I want my soul to flourish, and to expand, and the more I am connected with my soul, and my soul is connected with my highest self, I have a greater sense of abundance, have a greater sense of peace, and have a greater sense that I am tied to something greater than myself. And I can serve in wherever experience or situation I find myself in in a greater way. Because of that degree of attunement, something to think about. Bye for now.