Episode 6

Checking in on Seekers and Gaining the Most from the Unexpected | EP 006

Dr. Judith shares about a recent experience in which she was ‘fired’ by a person and using some spiritual principles and foundational stones talks about her approach and asks you to consider your approaches to your situations.  She also talks about types of highways our Soul testing(s) occur and re-introducing the importance of STILL time and three strategies (cork in water, skateboard, trampoline) to managing the curve balls that may be thrown your way.

Please feel free to join our Mastering Life's Adventures (MLA) Extras and Community Forum for seekers desiring a community of like-minded people!


About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.


Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -



Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course


Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”


You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com


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Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life adventures. All preparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are. Mastering life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome back, I was thinking, I might have given you too much homework, this last discussion around one of the pillars and talking about stillness and also give I gave you homework as related to visualization. So quotes and I wanted to spin back around and just check in with you to see how you're doing with that, and give you some more time to look at what you're observing about yourself. What are the things that you're embodying in your experiences that you're having, and your weekend, the week to come. And I didn't want you to walk away with thinking that, Oh my God, there's always something more to be done in terms of whether the homework is giving you one thing to do or giving you two things to do or giving you three things to do is that too much. So you need to put on your comments below. If I give you too many things, at the end of some of the apps episodes are during the middle of the episode to think about or reflect on, I don't want it to be feeling like it's a lot of things to do. And I prefer for you to think about one thing, or you can have a choice. So I'll give you three things you can choose to do one, and experience that oneness that you're doing and see where that leads you and what you notice about yourself. Because ultimately, it is never my desire or intent to overwhelm you. And wish you to keep and wish to keep things simple, manageable, engaging you to think and notice certain aspects that we're discussing how may be applicable to your life. That's the ultimate focus. And so last time, we did talk about stillness, time for the soul, to have a place and a experience of growing and maturing. And that still time was an acronym for stay teen to light and love. Stay tune to light and love. And so I was wondering how that worked out for you. I do have some thoughts that happened to me recently, as relates to that still time. But the other things that you were focused on too, was your visualization that you have for your soul and start to reflect on that and think about that, which you would like that to be. And the other assignment that I gave was maybe was the third and the, you know, icing on the cake of too much cake was a soul quotes, you know, finding two soul quotes that resonated with you that you found very inspirational for you. And to note with those quotes are in the comment section, so that we can all partake of those wonderful quotes as well. So the goal is consciously and intentionally and binding qualities of the soul as we're talking about mastering mice adventures. So this time, I want to really focus more on these three qualities that I gave you for observation work or homework. And I have found that even in my past week, the experience of stillness and needing to be intentional about that came up for you came up for me, excuse me. And it came up in the form of whoever I was being still, there was a search of a situation that happened with me with a computer person that I was working with. And and I have correspondence that went back and forth. And I'm the awareness for mine site in terms of the insight that I gave was that first of all, I found myself being ruffled inside because he basically was firing me. Yeah firing me for that erase reasons and I like to be able to get into is because, you know, it's, that's irrelevant.

Dr. Judith Holder:

But what is relevant is he was firing me and I was looking at the reaction it had in my being. And I noticed it created a lot of angst because now we need to find someone else to do some of the work that I have a deadline around, I wanted to get done. But it also helped me to be acutely attuned. I was saying one of the analogies I used earlier is there's three do we need to be a cork and water? Do we need to take still time, there's situations that happen for ourselves that set cork and water, just floating with it observing, being aware was going on. And that's what I was doing in my body being aware, where I was noticing the tension, and the stress or the angst that was going on in my body. And I would like you to do something similar when you're noticing certain situations that don't work out the way you would like them to have worked out. We all want things to go harmoniously and smoothly. But that's not the case, we live on a planet of freewill. And people can interpret things in a different light and into which wasn't met. But it still creates then this kind of rough links feeling inside. And so how do you understand yourself and be aware that is not to move so quickly to chat up a storm about what went on and how it went? But but instead it is to be means quiet and still and observe and ask your inner self? What is going? What's the lesson to be learned? How may I grow from this experience? How can I see it from the other person's perspective? And what is it about their perspective can be right? And that 15%? Right? Is a 15%? Right? And it may be more than 15%? And maybe 50%? It may be 80%. But how do you look at it on a well rounded way? As you know, this is a way to help to grow yourself. And understand that the soul is evolving? And how do you also when you feel that angst or that uncomfortability do you nurture yourself, you nurture it by the kindness, you give it to it by that statement, you say in terms of your internal dialogue, being able to say it's okay, we will work through this, we'll get through this. Breathe in, breathe out. And that things continue to flow and help me to continue to see what I need to see. Because sometimes we can have blind spots. And in the process, having those blind spots, we just don't see something until it kind of is right in our face, we start to see and we are oh my god, oh, I can see how you may take in it this way. This computer person, it wasn't meant that way at all. And so it's really slowing things down. Something I use as analogy those three skateboard, you know, going through not so fast that you're gonna fall off that skateboard. But you're balancing yourself to see the themes and the things you need to see as we play it in your mind, to help you to be able to do better next time. And the cord and water is sometimes letting knowing that there is a higher force that is supporting you and guiding you, when you're walking a spiritual path. And you're trying to be obedient to that path, then I'm not going to talk about in this light. But you know, the other quality I gave is trampoline moments, the trampoline. So I want you to begin thinking about these three aspects that may be happening in your life. Is it a skateboard moment? Is there a corporate border moment? Is there a trampoline moment that you need to be able to see and have a better perspective about what's going on, as opposed to which the human ego wants to do is React, React, React, React and react to more into what's going on with us in our mind. So with this particular situation with this computer person, in some ways, it worked out to be fine. As you settle into things, you see different perspectives. That's maybe where that trampoline comes in, you see a higher perspective because of some of the things I needed to do, and I needed to have the flexibility to think through and have someone who could be able to do that with me to know that once I say something, I'm in the process of always evolving my thoughts. So it's going to change based upon more additional information that I do have. So I did find another person in which took less than 48 hours to do to find the other person you know made a call didn't my prayers about finding the right person and I did find the right person who will be able to work with me with

Dr. Judith Holder:

the website done pulling together and some other activities, special projects that I'm doing. So we don't know. So we can really get stuck in believing that it's going to be terrible, or it's going to be bad, or it is going to be painful, or it's going to be fill in the blank. And that say it may not be some of those things, because it may but there's still always something to be learned in seeing through the, through the experiences that we're going through. And sometimes we have to realize is the painful experiences we learned the most from. We learn the most from and we have to also heal from those experiences and not allow them to stick to us. And the analogy that came to my mind was, you don't want to be like all molasses that is you know that it freezes and becomes stuck to us. And we're not able to move like marbles and molasses. And once it's solidifies, those marbles stay in those that particular position, we don't want to do things that way, we want to actually put some water into the head onto those marbles, hot water and allow the molasses to melt away. Jeff says we want to do appearances and may come our way. There sometimes we may feel stuck, and that we can't move. But we had to do still time be able to stay in tune to might and love staying tuned to these qualities that feeds the soul. Even in the midst of when we are feeling the ripples and waves of anxiety and fear and uncertainty and whatever may be happening take the still time this day in light and no smile. No that is too shall pass be willing to observe things. And where there is something you did not do accurately or correctly or helpfully or was an error or whatever. You fess up, you fess up, were there other person has done something that has been positive and good. And that was helpful to you? You fess up, you say yes, thank

Dr. Judith Holder:

you. Even in this situation that occurred with a computer person, I still want it to be kind and safe, good good things I was appreciative of him for and sent him that email and letting him know, writing, you know, in the midst of him feel me feeling down, you know, and disappointed about him cutting me loose, so to speak. But I think by creating the time warming my heart and sending him law, and might MPs for his greatness, and not negativity, and doubt and, and sadness and anger and resentment or frustration or whatever that goes on, you know, not containing that a little bit. I'm not saying I didn't feel disappointed, because I did you know with that, but I will pass that to the greater good. This person has a soul to they're here to learn certain lessons as well. And I usually say lessons take different paths. There's one way path or a one way highway type of lesson. And that lesson is for the person that's on that highway, and maybe a two way highway. And the lesson is for the two individuals on Highway One going one way or the other going the other way. They're learning something on that highway from the experiences that they've had with each other or coming towards each other to learn and to garner those lessons, then there is also lessons that are a three way highway, there are the lessons for person A and person B. And then also in the midst of the context of that situation, there may be a greater lesson that's trying to be learned as well. And then there is the four way highway. And the four way highway is that there's lessons at different levels that are taking place. There are lessons that are taken with the individual a and enduro B. And then there's also the lessons that are being taken with those individuals around individual a and individual B. And then there are lessons that are at a unconscious level that sometimes rise to the conscious level that you realize, oh, I didn't realize that. So we can always be alert and attune to the complexities of lessons and Zico would say there's wheels within wheels within wheels within wheels, and with these lessons are being given to us in order for us to fine tune our sense of self Self, and grounded in that sense of the greater self, of the souls, union and direction with this God source, the Atman, the I Am Presence, and in keeping connected to that in the flow of things. And that's these are wonderful, they're not always great to go through them at times. But each lesson if you start seeing our life as lessons to be learned, then we look in from a different lens. And in looking from a different lens, we see the goodness of a situation, and not necessarily always the negativity of the situation. And the ego is always going to see it from the negative light is the soul that wants you to focus on the positive, and the growth aspect, from the lessons that are being given. So that's why Yeah, I could be able to see that, yes, there's something for me to learn in this situation with this computer person, but there may be something that he needs to learn to. And one of those lessons sometimes we both need to learn in that spy slow down and with a quart of water, and be still and be aware, because I didn't want to react. I didn't react, we live in a society in which everyone's reacting to each other. But that reaction is not of the divine nature. We want to be more purposeful, meaningful, and attune to what is the highest benefit, or the highest good in a particular situation? What is it that I can learn from this situation? How do I sit with the discomfort and know that I will not be bound by the discomfort? How can I sit with the discomfort and know that I won't be bound and won't be heard? I won't be put in a straitjacket. With that discomfort? No, we are more than

Dr. Judith Holder:

that. So this was a good, good experience in some ways, in many ways, actually, for me to see what I needed to do in order to move through this particular lesson with this computer person. And then how through my staying power and my willingness to not get into negativity, and stay still and be able to think what is the best next step that I need to do here. And that's something you'll hear me say frequently, that I want you to start thinking about for yourself is What is the best next step that I need to take here. And wait, and listen, and observe and see because again, can come to Tiffin vehicles, all are very important because as we learn our lessons, we start to also start to refine our soul. And our soul needs our attention. That's why stillness is so important and not get so ruffled to have to get into ruffling activities. And we want to be able to see some humor in the situation, I can see I can see the humor in my my work, you know, I wrote and then so you know, see what how you wrote back and just say, you know, it is what it is now is, you know, he needs to do what he thinks is right for him. And I, I praise him for his resolve, and what he felt he needed to write for him. And I could be amused at the discomfort that it found myself in. But I knew it wasn't going to last forever. I knew it wasn't gonna last forever. But what he did give me is an finer tuning look at wherein this disappointment or this NX comes, where does it manifest in my body? And is it in the same place? Or is it in different places based upon situation, circumstance or events that happen? That's what I would like you to think about. I'm trying to give you more homework right now, or field work or observation work. But it's something a way in which I want you to begin thinking, you know, as you're, you know, taking this next week, and still thinking about this whole notion of still time, thing to, to light and love. How are you doing that? How is it manifesting itself? What are the curveballs that are coming your way that you find yourself wanting to get emotionally reactive to but you're still in yourself in kindness and love and peace, to be able to calm the inner self to give clarity to the mind and heart about what is the best next step. thing to do. Then the other thing that I want you to continue to think about and reflect on is the visualization. What is that visualization you would have for yourself? What would it look like? How would it be more tangible to you, you're solid that you would that is within you can to ask yourself, what is it your appearance, what is it that you will how you would like to be seen? See what happens. Then the other word that I gave to you last time last episode was related to so called, see, I want you to think about those. Reflect on them. If you've found your soul, quote, your two Tapsell quotes, hold on to them, write them down, put them somewhere you can look at and reflect on meditate on and see how it in ripples into your being, and what point of calmness or contentment or joy, there's a cause for you with those particular quotes, and doesn't meaning switch shifts or changes in any way. As you reflect on the particular quotes that you chose, this is all helping you to find and become a little more fine tune in to your soul, soul growth and and the evolution that you're moving through. And also a better or to admit to being aware that your soul exists within you

Dr. Judith Holder:

that it does have a place within you. And you're now asking it to come forth, and to reveal itself more to you. Because our soul can be dormant for a very long time. Because it doesn't it's like what is it? It's like Sleeping Beauty and which is fine, you fall asleep because of various aspects that have happened in our lives. So this soul sometimes gets disconnected and falls asleep. And it's really the ego that's operating, you know, largely in our, our, our awareness and being in our personality. The ego has this place. But as I said at one point in another episode, it shouldn't be the ruler of our house. The scholar has his appropriate place. It is our soul who is the ruler of our house. Something to think about and consider. So thank you. I look forward to seeing you next time.