Episode 5

Laying the Foundation: S.T.I.L.L. Time | EP 005

Dr. Judith talks about an essential ingredient that your Soul needs to supports its continued growth and advancement on a spiritual path. She gives you an acronym (S.T.I.L.L.) to remember some of what your Soul needs, provides a couple of ways of connecting with your Soul, and quick fieldwork (like homework) to begin reflecting and cultivating on your Soul awareness.

Please feel free to join our Mastering Life's Adventures (MLA) Extras and Community Forum for seekers desiring a community of like-minded people!


About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.


Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -



Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course


Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”


You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com


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Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome to Mastering Life's Adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life adventures. All preparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are Mastering Life's Adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder:

It's good to be back to talk about this next pillar. And the next pillar is focused on learn to take still time to connect and nurture your soul and your souls source. And we live in such a distracting our minds going in many different directions. And we have many things that we have to juggle and be able to try to do sometimes in a day's time. That is easy not to take still time. And what I have found is is that many people actually don't like stillness, or they feel that it's foreign to them uncomfortable, as some would say, downright boring. So is, in actuality, stillness is far from being boring. And when we can take these seconds, and even as as nanoseconds of stillness, it really helps us in so many different ways to be recenter and have a greater sense of balance and anchoring in our life.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So when I thought about the word of still, what came to my mind was, stay tuned in light and love. Stay tuned to light and love. In order to stay in tune to light in love. We have to have stillness, connection, because as I talked about in the prior episode about these distractions that we can find ourselves getting into mentally, emotionally and physically, they keep us off, off track off track to what we really want as seekers is to be able to have a greater sense of inner fulfillment, and a greater sense of calmness and joy and happiness. So still being still can be cultivated. And I think it's the light and the lung, or to the ingredients that feed, nurture grow the soul. And this whole concept that I'm talking about is soul evolution, our soul needs to continue to grow. But if you don't give it the ingredients and not knees, like planting a seed and soil but you're not watering, it is not going to sprout, it's not going to grow. And we need to what are those watering elements that are going to be important, and I'm saying two of those are light enough. Similar to just like a few. A car is fuel. An engine needs oil to make it operate. When you think there will be some things that we would need the help us to be able to really connect in a deeper way with our inner self and have a greater sense of fulfillment. I would think so. And when I think about light, I think about the light that you know you think of saints, and they have this kind of aura or this halo around their heads while it's at about when you see Jesus, you see this halo around his head with some of the pictures that depict them.

Dr. Judith Holder:

What does that mean? And what I think is that Halo is develop and has been an emanation from him. Because of the capacity of his ability to love, so love, really See also emanating around the hearts of the saints, you see around Jesus, you see that Halo, and you see that light, the Sacred Heart of Jesus coming out and pulsating. And, you know, there's different renditions. But also, you see it in the Catholic tradition in which they have Mother Mary, and she has a little sword going through her heart. But it's emanating light, from the heart, the capacity to love and pierce through the darkness, what some of the occur, what occurs in our world is like, I'm not going to allow the pain to get away of my ability to love, to love the situations that are upon me, or to love how I manage the situation that maybe it was not in the best way. But it was the way that I thought at the time, so I'm not going to get so critical of myself and down on myself and be belligerent with myself. But instead, what mine is small kernel can I pull from that and love about that experience? was small, little core kernel, can I pull from that can love about that experience, learn from it, and keep moving. Even in Buddha, you see him when his prayer was in the prayer position in his hands, praying is where that love center is, you know, he's eliminating love. And he's actually actually eliminating the because he realized that love is the key. That love will help to move through this world of samsara as called a Buddhist tradition of illusion, pain and suffering. And it's the greater essence of who we really are, in terms of this love ability, and the light that comes with it, and they work hand in glove. So we talked about before about tension, and how attention does inform reality. And what we're talking about is our ability to be able to know that stillness helps to cultivate the growth of the soul, and the soul source. And we're becoming more aware that through meditations that the saints have done, and Buddha did, and other in the liberal religions have done, actually helps to cultivate light. The image emanates from us lightness, and that flame of joy, and that we have, and it transmutes in some ways, the darkness that may be around us, where there is light, there can be no darkness, when you say, where there is light. The Darkness comprehends it not because light is occupying the space. And that's what we want to have happen within our physical beings is light occupying, of this space, then some of the, the negative thoughts and feelings and reactions that are maybe occupy the space within us. So when we have lightness, then we're also we're doing is we're infusing that light, we're infusing it into the cells and atoms in our being, because that's where our attention is. That's where our attention, our attention is on the light, and law, and seeing the goodness in situations that come our way. Learn from those that are downers in terms of the events that come our way. And so that when we have enough light that exists within us, and we start emanating, and the emanation may be physical, but also it may be frequencies that people say, there's something that different about you, there's something lighter about you what's going on, I want more what you got.

Dr. Judith Holder:

And what we're trying to do is being the best self that we can be, by having an understanding that our soul needs stillness, it needs to be aware, you need to be aware of this quality of light and love. I'm not saying those are only qualities, this is just a tool I'm talking about right now. And it's important and why it makes it so important to the soul. Because the soul came into embodiment, in order to have certain experiences. It came into environment, and also maybe to correct certain experiences that we have to is with, in Eastern tradition they call karma. You can have good karma and you can have bad karma. And we want more good karma and you know from that perspective about things, but the these things that we have done because the soul lives on, and the soul takes environment. And it's taken many environments to learn certain lessons, and to be able to give certain gifts to the world in order to help in this continuity of evolving, but there's different evolutions where you can be in your soul, just like there are different schools cool, we're in classes, you know, you go first grade kindergarten, and then first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth grade, to 12th grade, and then to, you know, if you're getting move into graduate level grades, and they're higher and higher in infinite dimensions of how the soul can be able to grow. And so we have to be aware of that there are our soul is really the true essence or the substance of our life. And we want to pay attention to our soul. And our soul is trying to have a pathway, find the pathway back to a source. And that pathway is sometimes blocked, sometimes detoured back to you, our source is similar to when you're driving on a long trip, and you're not quite, you're new to the area of the terrain that you're, you're driving in, and you take a wrong turn, you go off the wrong exit, is Oh, no. So you take a long way back around to get back on to the major highway to go back to in the direction that you want to sometimes our souls through different environments that we've had, over the over many lifetimes, we actually have taken many detours. And those detours, we're trying to figure out the PI path that allow us to get back to our source. Seekers are looking for truth, to help us to get back onto the right path to our source, and to have those qualities that help to nurture and provide care to the soul is the light and the love. And that point of stillness. And when we're always busy. It's very, very hard for the soul for us to what our soul, and what our soul needs are.

Dr. Judith Holder:

I have a story to tell you. And a situation that happened to me just recently that relates to this being busy is something as a continuous learning point. So what happened was, I hadn't your computer, I was trying to get it set up in an in terms of my fire, five, and my computer was upstairs, my new computer, and my Wi Fi is downstairs and it wasn't connecting. So I took my computer, my new computer on one hand, and I took my phone my cell phone in the other hand, and was walking downstairs. And in the process of walking downstairs, I slept, I slit, kind of went up a little bit in the air and fell down is like, Oh no, my computer goes in one direction down the stairs onto the floor, and my cell phone goes back behind me. And then my arm gets scraped, you know from the experience. And so it's like, I go from and land on the floor. And guess what I land in front of I have the statue of an angel in front in my stairwell area. And so I sat down, cross my legs and said, What are you trying to teach me? Why? What happened here? I just sat there. Make sure I was okay. Besides me scraping on your arm. And then the following morning, a family member says something very important to me. Simply the statement was you're juggling too many things. You're juggling too many things. And that rang so true to me. And I was talking about the computer I was making sure it was going to be okay. He says what about you? So we can all forget here because what about you? How are you doing from this experience? I'm okay, got some scrapes I'm working on because my head hit a little bit the the back and my head hit you know the stairwell and the stairs. I said no thank God it was carpeting. So he goes yeah, that's more important of all this is how you're doing. And I think you're juggling too many things. That was a blessing to To be told to me, because that was my answer. Yeah. And I was, and I had been juggling too many things. And then I, when I sitting there, I'm just actually sitting there just be still. And you know what, when I was at the bottom of the stairs, you know, the be still realizing now that I connected the dots in my stillness at that time, and then what my family members shared with me, it's like, yeah, I happen juggling too many things. And I need to look at that a little bit more. And maybe me maybe be more discerning to all the things I have going on in my world. What about you? Are you juggling too many things to keep you busy, and not taking enough time out, to have those still moments. And asking your inner self for guidance. direction.

Dr. Judith Holder:

And we're always this is always a dance that we're doing trying to figure out our balance each and every day, each and every day is a new day that's been given to us, you know, to be able to work through those things that we didn't get to or didn't do, the way we wanted them to be done, you know, in the prior days, so each day is a new day of opportunity. And that's why I like about, you know, being able to walk a spiritual path, being a seeker as we have an opportunity every day to grow, and to continue to grow, and continue to advance. But stillness is one of the key ingredients, that we can have enough stillness, to hear our inner self. Take speaking to us, sometimes we call that substance of our life, that soul, our intuition, the intuition is a part of the soul. But the soul is here to continue to evolve through time and space, to continue to grow because this pathway, and it wants to go back to its higher source, which I said last time, and I'll say this time is your mighty I Am Presence. And their connection is a powerhouse connecting the soul, and your mighty I Am Presence together. Because a soul is evolving through time is based. The I Am Presence is eternal. It's one thing I talked about a little bit more in the book, Mastering life's adventures. And it's something to be aware of that our soul, it truly is evolving through time and space as an opportunity that's been given to us to be able to make choices about where we put our attention and choices to know that God is greater. And how do I help keep connected to that God source, the I Am Presence source, in terms of the direction that I would like to have a move in my life. If we don't have a North Star to understand what that North Star is, and we go all over the place and in search off.

Dr. Judith Holder:

But if you don't know that, that North Star is our I Am Presence that God's source of the true essence of who we are. And our soul is a spirit spark of that essence, that is now taken in binding that in order to go through certain experiences, and lifelong lessons, AB or don't have that awareness, then we do get into what is it all about? What is life all about? I can do whatever I want, it won't matter. It's not true. That's not true. It does matter, you matter. Your soul matters.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Everyone is on this planet for a purpose and a reason. Just because we don't know it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We have to be discoverers. We have to be seekers in order to determine what your specific mission and purpose is about. But it requires stillness, some still time. Because the soul wants to move to the higher frequencies of God, a God source the I Am Presence. There are many different frequencies just as there's many different grades you know that you haven't done kindergarten through 12 For example, and those grades and you pass certain tests so you can move to the next grade. Well, that happens to truly in terms of soul evolution. There's certain testings that were given that we need to pass and move towards the next and we keep on moving up and that moving up is moving up in light in frequency and frequency and in law, integrator integrator To commit to understanding what is the I Am Presence source that matches our source, and what is the will of God for our life. Sometimes we think that our life is our own, we do what we want, when we want how we want. But that is a path that you can take, you know, that is a direction that we have free will to be able to do. But for those who are seekers, they're looking for what is the direction that is under the auspices of the will of God. Because since our soul is an aspect of God, we want to be tied in a greater measure to God. And connect in a greater way, for greater ease and flow, which is our truth, our source, which is God, I am presents something to think about.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So I have some things really thinking further about. For those who are finding it a little bit antsy to to take still time, in order just to be with yourself. And this is just to be with yourself, it's not to discover where my soul is, and what my soul is, no, it's just kind of to be yourself, but your soul will reveal itself to you. Your soul will reveal itself to you. What if you get this, you took three minutes to be still are gonna be five minutes, but you don't want to be long. You just want to take intentional three or five minutes, just be still and sit. And you may want to take that time to close your eyes. And notice your heartbeat. Can you notice it? Because we have to get really, really still to notice our heartbeat. Notice your breath. Just Breathing in breathing out. And when the mind wants to be distracted, because it's easy to do. Just bring it back, you're only doing it for three minutes. You can time it if you like three minutes, chest to get into the flow of being still. And then you may you can if you want to just listen to the heartbeat, or you just want to you know, do the breath and be aware of the breath without trying to change the flow of the breath. As you're breathing in and your breathing out. Your mind will get distracted and that's okay, you're aware of it, you're just being still you're just bringing it back to that breath. Or you're bringing it back to the heartbeat. And you're trying to listen and hear the heartbeat. And if you want to sit in nature outside somewhere, be aware of the sounds that you're hearing. As you're breathing in and breathing out. You just being still your body you're learning now to have the body be still. And you're slowing down the mind is slowing down the emotions, you're just being fully present. So you might ask why you want to try that.

Dr. Judith Holder:

The other thing I can think about is start to think about or contemplate would there be a visualization that I would have liked to have for my soul was a substance of who I am the sadness of my life is your visualization that I'm allowed to have? That's uplifting, that's nurturing that feels great to what the image of what your soul is mine is an old bit of light. You know, it's kind of this white, bright light in there that I like to visualize. What is yours? Some people like to have something more physical and they have a teddy bear. Yeah, and that's, that's fine. If that you know that's, you know what is going to be helpful to them. But we need to sometimes in order to make the soul a little bit more tangible. We need to have some type of visualization. Some people like a feather, the lightness of a feather. Some people you know like a rainbow. You know that represents their soul. A rainbow of godlike qualities that represent the soul is always tied. Whatever you visualize is tied into something that is good. That is nurturing. That is a part in that nurturing is a part of the love that you're having and imbuing your soul with that recognition that you love yourself. You love the inner essence of who you are Another thing you can do, if you'd like, and I'll give you too many things to do. But it's mostly Google soul. Google soul quotes that are inspirational. So it may be inspirational. So quote, quotes, and start to read and see which one really resonates with you. It can be a quote, like I saw a quote, on Google was a strong soul shines after every storm. And you want the quote, to say, Yeah, my soul does continue to shine on.

Dr. Judith Holder:

And, and it regardless of what I go through, I have a sense that my soul, and what the essence is, and that's what we're working on, for you to have a sense of what your soul is, and what that essence is. And if you find a quote, that you like, please share with me share it in the comment section, what your code is, and a little blurb about what struck you about that, quote, What attracted you to that quote, I'd love to know. So going back to learning to take still time, your soul craves silence. They crave silence, chest to be expanding. So it can continue to evolve and grow through that silence, which tend to allows you to tie into that greater source, and be more connected through love and care. And it is through love and care, that we learned to connect to the greater essence of who we are. Maybe even a move ourselves, as we're doing this on a consistent basis, to agree to flow to your greater God's source. So that flow that figure a flow between you and and God and God in you, you can sense it and feel it. And you know, when you're in that tune, that flow may not come overnight. You see evolving process. But we need to begin somewhere. And I want another quote that is we're winding down here. And now the code that I saw on Google, which I'm asking you to do and write yours, I'm just telling you, something that struck me was one on, when you do things from the soul. You feel a river moving in you, Joy.

Dr. Judith Holder:

And that's what I noticed, when I'm connected, and I feel my soul. And that dazzling white might, that I see my soul as is is that I'm in for now. It's my thirst, the joy is not just my soul is the vehicle, the true vehicle by which it connects with my I Am Presence. Because my soul has free will. As I said, the I Am Presence is eternal. The soul lives in time and space. And it has the ability to make choices. And I need to talk about next time a little bit about the soul and the ego. And what I call ego persona. And I'll make sure I do that next time. Because there is a distinction between the two. And we sometimes get confused because we this the soul can be dormant. And it's dormant means I can sleep I can be sleeping for a long time before is summoned to our attention. And through the love and light that is ready to be woken. kind of wake up. It's like you say to wake up now. Stars to rubbish, eyes, a star so wake up. And that's what seekers are looking for is the wakening of their soul. Or if their Soul is ALL THE WAY already awake, the guidance to help the soul to connect with a source the I Am Presence. So take care. Look forward to our next time.