Episode 4

Laying the Foundation: Distractions Keep Us Disconnected | EP 004

Dr. Judith shares another foundational stone or pillar in anchoring you in something more meaningful, which is your I Am Presence. She talks about three types of distractions that keep us disconnected from living a meaningful life; the law of cause and effect; and how rumination keeps us tied up in negativity and further disconnects us from our Soul. She reads a short affirmation from The Magic Presence, a book by Godfre Ray King. Also, you are asked to reflect on how you are reducing some of the distractions in your world.

Please feel free to join our Mastering Life's Adventures (MLA) Extras and Community Forum for seekers desiring a community of like-minded people!


About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.


Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -



Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course


Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”


You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com


Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to my podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Please leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Dr. Judith Holder:

Welcome to Mastering Life's Adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith Holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life adventures. All preparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are. Mastering life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So how did you do? How did you do from last episode to the current episode? With looking at where you're putting your attention? Should you make a list and be able to say, Oh, I noticed that I have 40% of my energy and going to this attention item. Another 10% goes here, another 30% goes here, another five here, another two here, etc. that you're seeing where your attention is going? And how does where are the places where your intention is going? does it inform your reality that allow you to see where you're putting a lot of emphasis that may be a turn externally focused. And not Ilana emphasis placed to develop being the trueness of who you are developing the essence and the core essence of who you are. It's as if we have a percentage, maybe 5%, which happens to us when we go to Sunday service. But after that our mind goes on our attention goes everywhere else in order to make things happen. But our attention is not really going to the most the thing that we say we really want to cultivate, which is our spiritual essence, which is understanding ourselves better is understanding our purpose or meaning or direction that we want to have in our life to have a greater sense of fulfillment. So whatever that list is looking like is very informative. And I would invite you if you have not done it is to make that list to see where you put your attention in the media. Do you put your attention in social media? Not just TV and streaming? Do you put your attention to family which a certain percentage that's true, but are you putting enough attention to cultivating and developing that sense of calmness, purpose, enjoyment of inner sense of fulfillment for yourself? Something to think about.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So the next thing that I wanted to talk about, that lays that foundational stone or that pillar of understanding as we're looking in this episode and mastering life's Avengers is the issue around distractions. It's kind of similar to where you're putting your attention to, but I want to dive a little bit deeper into the distractions. And one of the things I say as a pillar and I noted is and I talked about it more in nationalized, vengers. But it really is a pillar or foundational stone. And that is is be aware of the distractions that keep you off balance and are disconnected. The distraction factor bars you from cultivating an inner calmness, poise and centeredness. If we have too many distractions going on in our world, I'm going to talk about three of those types of distractions that can happen for us, then we are always perpetually in those distractions, keeping us off beam keeping us off balance, keeping us feeling as if we want something more. And we're thinking it we're doing what we need to do in living of life, but it may not be that we're doing what we should be doing and then living a fulfilling life.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So what are the distractions? The first one I call is mental distractions. Where are our thoughts going? What do you mean? Notice that when we're in interactions with other individuals, are we focused on what they're saying? Or are we finding our mind is thinking about other things, because the more that we can be keep focused on what is going on in the hearing. And now, the more we also have a sense of quietness, that listen to our own inner Sal giving us direction and guidance, if we are always thinking about it, to say how I need to say, when I need to say it, then you're always now thinking ahead of yourself into the future, and not living in the hearing now. And with these mental types of distractions, they can also be thoughts that come from the past, that remind us of some of the things that are taking place in the present. It can be related to a disagreement that you had with your spouse or your significant other, it can be related to how you handle the situation with a teacher, he was telling you, you're talking to you about your child, and how he or she was doing in school. And you're finding that you're getting more distracted and thinking of things you want to say, or you get distracted, because you're worrying a lot about what this means to the situations that are coming up in my world? Or are you getting distracted, because of you're finding yourself getting more what I would like to call your you're getting so wrapped up in your mind that you move into ruminating, ruminating about the past and what was said or done, you're ruminating about the future, or how you need to do something about a situation that have happened to you. And in that process of rumination, we don't realize it is a distraction. rumination is a distraction, worry is a distraction and keeping in tune to your essence and getting to learn more about that essence or that true self, or that true self, which is also which I've called before it's your soul. So we never quite get an understanding of what is our sole purpose, because we get so wrapped up and the rumination is of our mind, and in the thoughts and feelings, which is a next distraction that happens to us is that we do get wrapped up in the emotional frustrations of what's going on in our world and the negativity. And I think rumination, the, the cousin to rumination is kind of that emotional reactivity. And when we get involved in being really highly emotionally reactive to what is being occurred because of a sense of injustice, or a sense that the person didn't hear us, right? Or there was a miscommunication. Or we are finding that the person misinterpret everything we said, all those emotional reactivity is taking place and increase the negative vibe.

Dr. Judith Holder:

We feel the agitation inside, you know, I think you could raise your hand, when you think about when you're feeling emotionally upset. It does create this kind of frenetic Ness the fields within us and we can't pipe concentrate, or we're finding that we're not listening very well, are we finding that we're really reactive and wanting to just justify why we did what we did. And we have to be aware of the fact that that emotional roller coaster that we can find ourselves on a really is another level of distraction. Because it creates these waves of turbulence that happens within us. It's like a boat, on the waves. And then some storm that comes in is turbulent. And it's pretty rocky. And we're trying to maybe walk on the on the surface of a ship that's going through a storm, not just a boat, but a ship going through a storm. And it's pretty hard to walk because the waves are so high. That's the emotions. And we have to learn how to calm them. Because it keeps us on the surface of ourselves. It keeps us not being aware of the fact that these emotions are just telling us there's some things we need to be able to have greater mastery around. And we don't know always how to do that. But we can learn. We can learn how to have mastery over emotions just as much as we can learn to have mastery over our thoughts, our mental agitations and distractions that happen. And we'll talk more about that too. And how do we gain this mastery? Because this is an episode or series that we'll be talking about at some point on mastering some of these negativities that come up in us the key obsess on the surface of ourselves. And that being anchored into something deeper and more meaningful. And when we are able to have that anger, and that anger, I'm gonna call it is the soul, and having an understanding of the essence of who you are that substance of who you really are. And when you're anchored in that, then these distractions, that mental distractions, in terms of the thoughts or emotional distraction in terms of how we're feeling, we can be able to see that on the surface, but not be moved by it, not be moved as much longer. And by the waves and a turbulence as happening and know, this too shall pass. This too shall pass.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So we have distractions that can go on to disconnect this at the mental level, there are distractions can go on and keep us distracted at the emotional level. And they're also distractions that keep us separated from our true self, at the physical level, in terms of the physical agitations that we experience, and or through, being aware of the fact that being on the smartphones, or being in social media, and listening, and looking at what people are doing or not doing, and then comparing ourselves, you know, to what the status is on Instagram, or Facebook, or whatever social media that you like to use even Twitter, there are all forms of when overly done distractions, to taking our attention away from cultivating a deeper and more joyous understanding of who we really are. And how do we pass certain initiations tests, events that happen in our world? How do we be less moved by those events? And start to look a little bit around the corner? or dig a little bit deeper? In terms of meaning? What is the meaning? And what is the lesson that is trying to be taught through this experience that I'm going through? And yes, I agree, it can be hard, sometimes certain situations so know fully what that is. But if you never asked the question, then we're never we can't get the answer is kind of like one of the laws of the universe is the call does compelled the answer. So we need to make the call to our higher self, our God Self, I, which I call I Am Presence, which Moses said, you know, who should I say who you are God. And he says, say that I Am that I Am. So as the I Am Presence, that we are can call upon, to help us to be able to have a greater sense of composure, and being anchored in something greater than ourselves, where we're at, especially going through challenging situations in our life. So part of that mental, emotional, and physical distractions that happened to us, it's not a matter of if they're going to happen. It's just a matter of when they're going to happen. And when they happen, how do you want to handle them? How do we need to be able to say, You know what, I don't need to get agitated or frustrated by this situation. This too, will pass. And there's something greater here that I need to look put my attention to. And let me put your attention to that which is greater. And sometimes the ways in which you go about doing that is take five minutes, take a break, and start asking yourself, what is really happening here? What is it that you're asking me to learn asset to your higher self, your inner self, your true self. And then it may be that you go for a walk, and breathe, and think about how much you are growing from the experience. Or how much is waking you up to something that you never saw before. That is helping you to see in a different way. As opposed to staying wrapped up in the distractions of gossip, or of anger, or bitterness or resentment.

Dr. Judith Holder:

These are all forms of distractions from our inner self, because our inner self, our true self, really wants a point of harmony. And we have to protect you remember those those castles in olden days in which you had a moat and the only one You could get into that castle, if you had a drawbridge. And that drawbridge would come down. And then you could, with your horse, go across that bridge, and come into the castle. But we have to think sometimes of our DS distractions of that mental, emotional, physical, are things that we're allowing for that bridge to go down and come into our core essence of who we are. And we need to be able to say, to these distractions, now, I lift up the drawbridge. And I choose not to go further with entertaining these thoughts, these feelings, these reactions, these memories of things that have happened to us. And we have to be able to know that we're not going to always do it right, is not going to always feel right. But the question that you can ask yourself is, is this thing that I am thinking about? Or this thing that I am feeling? Is it going to bring me greater happiness? greater peace, greater composure? And if the answer is no, not at all, that you know, you're working on a distraction, you're working from a distraction. There are so plentiful around us, these distractions that keep us separated from our true essence, a true self of who we are. And that true South is magnificent. The soul is thirsting for your attention. And instead of getting your attention, it gets more of your distractions get more the attention.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So one of the things I want you to begin to think about is, what is my soul? The same, there are no two flakes alike, just as there is no two souls that are aligned. Each has an unique qualities, each has unique assets, talents, that are being brought into this world, to make a contribution and a difference. Though, it's nice to be able to again to gently began to see what your soul's needs are, as opposed to what your personality and our personality is to persona of the outer self of who we are. It's it's an aspect of who we are. But it's not the totality of who we are. Our soul is the true essence of who we are. And that's what we're trying to get more in tune with through life's adventures. So incrementally, as we're moving through our discussion of these episodes, we're beginning to put the pieces together of the soul, and the soul needs and wants and soul evolution, and what that's about, and how psychology is supposed to support the soul evolution. And that's what I'm about. And that's what I'm interested in. And how do we go about doing that? And again, I don't necessarily have all the answers, but I have a lot of thoughts about it. And we'll invite you to think more about it as well. But one of the things that we were talking about when I was saying about Moses and what he said I am that I am there was a book that I read many decades ago and it was the magic presents by GFI Red King fascinating book is worth the book Getting and it really opened your eyes to understanding the personal type of relationship that you could have with your I Am Presence that I Am that I Am. Which GFI rain King tells about his experiences with making contact with his I Am Presence. And one of the things that he said is where you put your attention is what you get more of something that I've shared with you in episode number one. And what I want to invite you to begin thinking about is the law of cause and effect.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So where we put the attention which is the law of cause we are co creators in this world with the I Am Presence and which is that higher essence of who we are that the soul is always trying to tie more into. It's the kind of god presence that is trying to be tapped into. But it is true through understanding that cause, the I Am, that you then put whatever you put behind that creates the effect. So, for example, you can say, I am happy, or I am sick, we don't realize that perseverating on being sick, for example, can bring that into our worlds because we are co creators with God. Or we can be able to say, I am happy, and I choose to be happy. And we can have that happiness flow more into us by our attention, and keeping our attention on that. And one of the qualities that in this non magic president's book that they talked about is, is that there are principles and concepts of this law of cause and effect that we have to be really attuned to, that allows us to understand why certain things are happening in our world, and maybe certain things are not. And for one of the first things, he says, you know, as you're reading this book, is, put your attention, not onto these, this is my interpretation and my phrasing here, in terms of this episode that we're talking about today on distractions. This is put your attention on the essence of who you are, which is your I Am Presence, these distractions of the mental and the emotional and the physical distractions that happen to us, keeps us away from the core of who we are, and also creates more static and discontentment and disconnection to our true source.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So one of the things that we're learning on a daily basis, and mastering our lives experiences that are going on for us, is how do we put our attention on that which matters, that which is most important, and that has a rebounding effect on what comes up in our world. And so one of the things I found was in this magic president's book, it was on page 158, and which he gave like an affirmation that I thought was very powerful. And I just want to read it to you, to give you an understanding of what I mean by saying, Put your attention to your I Am Presence that the soul can be able to draw up to, as opposed to putting our attention on these mental physical distractions, that take away our energy. And it also pulls our soul down, and not up and uplifting us. And this is what was said, on page 152. Mighty I Am Presence, blaze through me by conceiving lane, or divine love, take the desire out of me, sight take these distractions from me annihilate it's cause and effect, past, present and future and replace it by the fullness of yourself, your perfect satisfaction, and hold your full dominion, you're forever. That is do our ability to keep focus on what we want. And the greater sense of self, of the fullness of God's satisfaction, his dominion, where we are that we want to embody more of that. And that's why I was saying the last episode is where you put your attention is very important to be attune to, because that is what you're getting more. And if you do what Golfy Ray King said, in his book on magic presence, if you want to put your attention to have a greater understanding of what is I Am Presence, this god cell that exists in and around us, and how can our soul be uplifted through that process? I'm going to talk more about that as we move forward in our time.

Dr. Judith Holder:

So I'm going to end there, asked you to begin to think about how am I putting my attention and also how am I now reducing some of the distractions, the mental emotional and physical distractions, agitation, which trace me disconnected from my sole true essence of who I am. How I do I started just putting my attention back to my greater self and that greater self right now before we will talk more about this in a future. That is the greater self is your I Am Presence. I am proud sense. And the I Am Presence is the God's source that exist above you and around you. And it can you can embody it into your being. And I like to talk a little bit more next time about that. Because I think is a critical piece to walking a spiritual path. And walking a path that feels more purposeful in your direction, knowing that you don't have to walk that path alone. And that your I Am Presence, which is a personal relationship that you have with God is very powerful, and very meaningful for having to master some of these events that seem to show up in our world. And we're not always sure sure what to do, how to do. And so we end up feeling a little bit hopeless, helpless, we feel down. We feel agitated, angry, frustrated. And I'm saying all those types of feelings are distractions, to the true self of who you really are. So I'm going to end there. Bye for now, and I look forward to seeing you next time. Take care.